Musings of an Elitist

No Pinterest, I will not join your hipster party.

2012-01-06T22:25:00.000-08:00

Dear Pinterest,
So about four weeks ago--pre-finals--I chatted with my fashionable neighbor that raved about you. Before this conversation, I thought you were just another technology one-hit wonder: a technology fad that everyone would abandon in five months time--like google+. My neighbor explained that Pinterest offered a more organized alternative to my desktop collage of clothing items, paintings, household furnishings, recipes etc. Brilliant. I was sold. I went home and signed up.

Problem. I don't know if you are aware of this, but you can't just sign up. It's not like facebook: all those who apply get in (even creepers, but then again facebook makes creepers of us all). No. You need some time to "think about it." Okay. Maybe there are too many people trying to join and it takes your staff a while to process applications. But then I began to hear stories. Yes, terrible stories. Stories of people that applied two or three times to Pinterest in the course of a year and never received an answer. Well guess what? I just received my congratulatory email from you: welcome to the club. So why did I get accepted a week after applying and other girls that applied three times were not accepted? Sounds to me like you are running a mean girls club.

There must be some criteria you are looking for. Before receiving your email, I attempted to find the logical answer. What kind of people do I know that have a Pinterest account? Answer: hipster, cool, indie, people and old, Southern Baptist women. I became paranoid: "Right now, the Pinterest hipster staff is evaluating my email, facebook, and blog to see if I am 'hipster' enough." By the time that I got your acceptance email, I was so disgusted with this fantastical evasion of my privacy that I promptly deleted it.

No Pinterest, I will not join your hipster party.

Memo for all literal readers: I'm exaggerating. (If you are a person who cannot detect irony or sarcasm, this is not the blog for you; just sayin). I'm sure you do not discriminate. But I feel good about my decision to reject your offer. A few days ago T-- described Pinterest as "covet capital." You know what I say to that? Pin that to your website wall. This definition spurred an introspective realization: even without the assistance of Pinterest, my collection of desktop photos is a symptom of my increasing superificialism. Instead of joining Pinterest, I need to get a handle on my online window shopping. There are far more important things that I can do with that time. I could read James Joyce and Badiou. I could make cookies for my neighbor, press my khakis and smile at people. I could do some yoga to relieve stress. I could watch another episode of Vampire Diaries.

So thanks for the offer Pinterest, but I'm going to have to decline your invitation. I have more pressing matters to attend to.

Respectfully yours,

Musing Elitist

Validation is Essential

2011-12-14T11:12:00.000-08:00

I just administered the final for my class.

Here is the list of important things I taught my bright-eyed, college freshman:

Who Bob Dylan is, and that he sings a song called "Blowin in the Wind."
How to mime someone playing the accordion
That there is a movie called The King's Speech, and it is a good movie.
The style of punctuation in Cormac McCarthy's The Road
Donald Draper is beautiful
How to tell an effective ghost story using rhetorical tools
Tweeting a thesis statement
I cannot spell to save my life. It's so hard having to have a blackboard without spell check
Branagh's Henry V's speech should give you goosebumps
Much depends on a red wheelbarrow
I hate emoticons
The OED website is the greatest thing ever
Alanis Morissette killed irony

I think my list encapsulates the most essential things any person could learn, but my class mentioned some other things that were not on the list. Here is a smattering of the less-essential things that my students say that they learned:

"I feel that through meetings with you, and the Writing Center, I was able to find a way to include my own voice in an acceptable manner into my formal papers....I liked when we learned about Cormac McCarthy and how he knows the conventional way of writing, but even so, does his own thing. I would like to mirror something like that."

"Once I understood ethos, pathos, and logos, I began to look for each of these in any piece of literature. It was as if I had a strange obsession to ensure they were all there."

"The rhetorical triangle concept has also refined my ability to 'read' and analyze claims in the world around me"

"I learned how to formulate an effective and succinct thesis statement."

"I always thought that because this person was published, then the author is completely credible and they don't have any fallacies in their writing; however, after being in this class for a whole semester, my perspective on what authors write has changed. Writers are merely people who are trying to convince others....I now understand that no matter who is making the argument, I always have to read critically and decide whether the author is credible or not for myself."

"I found that...the words that we use in our writing do not necessarily have to be the largest of with the most syllables. The way that I use my words all depends on the audience."

"This has been one of the most enlightening classes I have ever taken. I found that people are tied in with everyone else, and that if proper tools are used, then there is not telling what good, or evil, can surpass after persuading an audience. I certainly am no Mark Antony, or Teddy Roosevelt but I know what they did to make them who they are."

"I would simply write what I felt my strongest points are, and would often completely neglect pathos, which is something that I am now able to see as a big mistake."

"I still love to write poems and other types of fun literature. I think that this class has actually increased how well that I can write these stories now."

"In this class I have learned that rhetoric is a wonderful ally."

"I learned how to do research....to find proper sources and how to read and analyze information."

After all of the long hours of grading, planning lessons, student emails, conferencing and teaching lessons, I feel that it was worth it.

Curate 1K

2011-12-09T09:29:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I went with a friend to her uncle's house. Her uncle is an artist that has traveled the world and taught art at universities in the US and Germany. The whole house was covered in paintings. You took a tour of the house like it was a gallery. The design of the house didn't really matter; the paintings are what mattered. I love that. I want my house to be like that. Unfortunately, my roommate and I only own one print and we have to frame it. The past semester I have been looking at artwork to put on my walls. While IKEA is great, technology makes it so easy to find affordable, original art. For example, here is a website that I was looking at today: Curate 1K. Here are some of my favorite pieces; it was difficult to narrow it down.

While we were at this artist's house, he gave me a canvas, paint, paint brushes, and told me to paint. The last time I painted it was with craoyla. I don't think I have even painted with legitimate tools. Can I just say how difficult painting is? I never thought I could appreciate art anymore than I already do, but give someone a paint brush and they discover a new depth of appreciation for art.

Almost Famous

2011-12-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

So a few days ago, a friend of mine emails me a link to her blog: http://taratboyce.wordpress.com/2011/12/06/i-am-aware-that-i-havent-posted-in-like-a-month/

(Yes, click on the link).

To my surprise, I found excerpts of our personal email conversations from this past week. It's finals week, so these emails were written quickly with minimal wit, too many or not enough capitalizations, poor word choice and grammar. But that's how most people--yes, even English graduate students and university instructors--write emails to friends. Apparently I need to be more careful about my emails; you never know who will post them on their blog. While I'm embarrassed about revealing my terrible email habits (thank goodness there were no incriminating emoticons), I am flattered about the content. In fact, I am so flattered that I decided to unmask anonymous H---. Yes, blogging world, H--- is me.

Now that I have proclaimed myself, I would like to return the favor (i.e. the flattering bit, not the sharing of personal emails).

My friends E--- and R--- always talked about becoming friends with T---. R--- secretly read T's blog for after she edited T---'s paper for publication two years ago. It makes sense, T--- is smart, down to earth, funny and adorable. We always talked about becoming friends with her, but we were sure that could not compete with all the fellow graduate students that felt the same way. I kid you not, there is always a group of people around her. This may be too much of a blog love fest for you, but I feel very comfortable. I blame this public display of blogger affection on reading too much Samuel Johnson and James Boswell; greatest bro-mance in 18th century literature.

Giving my Right Arm for Richard II...

2011-12-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

I would give my right arm to see the Donmar Warehouse's production--opening today--of Richard II. Okay, I would give me left arm; I'm too dependent on my right arm. Here are my reasons for exchanging a life of one armedness for a night at the theatre.

Reason 1: Donmar Warehouse productions are brilliant.

Reason 2: Eddie Redmayne is playing Richard II.

Reason 3: It's Shakespeare. And we all know how I feel about the bard.

Reason 4: Eddie Redmayne.

Reason 5: I saw Red in Chicago a month ago, and all I could think about was seeing the original cast that performed it at the Donmar (i.e. Eddie Redmayne & Alfred Molina). Simply a brilliant play.

Reason 6: It's provocatively kairotic.

"As opposition to his reign grows, Richard loses his crown and, with it, his grip on who he is, finally ending up broken in a prison cell. ‘Not that we’re making the parallel but I can’t help thinking of Gaddafi,’ Redmayne says. ‘He had all that belief in his own power and status, and then he was found in a sewer. There must have been a moment when he thought about himself: 'Oh, it’s not true,'"

"This year, any number of elaborately uniformed heads of state have found themselves sitting on the ground and telling sad stories of the death of kings, and several of their popularity-courting replacements have been tempted to follow their predecessors' methods having inherited their power. All over the Middle East, dictators and their opponents are changing places, and people are asking: "So what?" In 2011, Richard II is exactly the sort of play the Donmar ought to be staging" (Dobson).

Reason 7: Eddie Redmayne.

So if you were shopping for the perfect Christmas present to give me, all I want for Christmas is a flight to London and a ticket to see this.

Did I mention Eddie Redmayne is in it?

Sexy J.Crew Buttons

2011-11-19T10:21:00.000-08:00

I adore buttons. When I was on pain killers for my wisdom teeth surgery, I made a necklace made out of ribbon and different buttons I found in my mom's sewing closet. It was the pinnacle of my career as a fashion designer. One thing that I especially adore are exposed buttons on the back of a shirt. It reminds me of the 1960s short blouses worn with high waisted pants. Honestly, I cannot think of anything more simplistically sexy. That is why I am coveting this new jacket on J Crew.

World's Greatest Blanket

2011-10-19T20:27:00.001-07:00

So my mother--the same mother that had my aunt hand carry u-pick dahlias on the airplane to transport a little bit of home for me in Provo--gave me the world's greatest blanket yesterday. Here is the story: last Christmas my mother gave these blankets to all the married couples and close family friends. Since I am not married and a little more than a close friend, I did not receive a blanket. Honestly, in most cases I could care less about receiving a blanket; however, once I experienced this brilliant throw I had to have it. I even contemplated stealing it off the sofa and taking it back to school with me. My mom still has to remind me every time I visit to leave the blanket.

It may seem weird that I am obsessed with this blanket. Part of the obsession stems from my general love for all blankets. I am always cold and

I prefer to be cold with a blanket draped around my body. But even if I did not love blankets, I would want to steal this one. You make think that it is an ordinary throw, but once you try it on you are converted; no other blanket will do when it comes to keeping you warm. One side of it is cable knit--so it has a good heavy feel to it--and the other side is this faux fur, glorious fabric.

Anyway, my mother sent me this blanket the other day without even telling me. She is possibly the world's greatest mom because she sends surprise gifts like the world's greatest blanket. Now I feel ready for the Fall and Winter weather ahead; I can face anything with the world's greatest blanket.

If you are lucky, and a hygienic person, I may just let you try it out for yourself.

Doris Day & Improving Your Latin

2011-10-05T18:54:00.000-07:00

Today someone asked me to provide a definition of a word because I'm an English major. Do I look like a dictionary? I love how people just assume that because I'm English major they should "watch their grammar" and use me as a source for an unlimited supply of definitions . Little do they know that my grammar is possibly worse than theirs. Memo: English Language majors are the grammar Nazis, not English majors. I focus on literature and rhetoric, not grammar usage. Anyways, this person asked me for a definition of a word that his Humanities teacher used in class. I was so nervous; I hoped that it was a word I knew so I could prove my worth as an English major.

"Probitas."

That was the word.

I responded, "I think it is Latin for Honor. I don't know if your teacher is using some word that derives from the Latin, but I believe that the etymology is at least Honor."

Super impressive, right?

Do I speak Latin? Not a chance.

How do I know this impressive bit of Latin? A Doris Day movie.

Yes, a Doris Day movie.

Here is a clip from Lover Come Back, the movie where I learned Latin - go six minutes into the

clip.

I think this proves how brilliant Doris Day movies are. I mean they combine the eye candy of Rock Hudson,

outrageous hats,

beautiful 60's clothing

and they also teach you Latin so you can impress people at dinner parties.

You just got to love these two.

Downton Abbey Series 2

2011-09-19T18:57:00.001-07:00

Downton Abbey is brilliant. It is perhaps one of the best mini-series ever produced by BBC/Masterpiece Classic. I would know, I have watched about every mini-series that they have filmed. It's not just me who is raving about Downton Abbey; the show received six primetime Emmy awards. How could they overlook such a masterpiece (notice the pun)? The cinematography is gorgeous, the clothing and sets are lovely, the acting is wonderful, the characterizations are fantastic and the time period is so intriguing....sigh.

Yesterday was the premier of Downton Abbey in the UK. Sadly, the US does not get to see it until January 8th. I have read all the blogs and magazine articles about this upcoming season because I simply cannot wait. Some of the information was not pleasing to the ears: Mary and Matthew both are engaged to other people. It should be an interesting installment with the waves of change crashing more heavily than the first season. It will be an even more precarious balancing act between tradition and Modern disenchantment brought on by the horrors of the Great War. I get chills just thinking about it.

U-Pick Dahlias

2011-09-17T14:07:00.000-07:00

I left home this summer before the Dahlia season began. I didn't have the opportunity this summer to follow the "U-Pick Dahlia" sign in my neighbors yard to find a pair of scissors and arranged bouquets in a tent with a small mason jar to collect the five dollars fee for a bouquet.

My aunt just visited my mom in Seattle and came directly to Utah to see her daughter; she hand carried a bouquet of Dahlias on the flight for me. This is the best gift of the summer. My mom is the best.

Dahlias are summer's brilliantly colored, final hurrah to celebrate the closing of the season.

Again, sorry about the quality of the photos. I really need a camera.

Mad for Mad Men Banana Republic Collection

2011-08-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

I love the TV show Mad Men. The reasons for my love range from deep (e.g. characterization, historical accuracy) to shallow (e.g. Don Draper is attractive). I would be lying if I did not admit that one of the main reasons I love the show is the clothing. Subsequently, I was ecstatic to learn that Banana Republic is having Janie Bryant - Mad Men costume designer - assist in designing a line for both men and women. My excitement is on par with when Gilt had a Neal Caffrey day.

As the campaign says: shop now. you'd be mad not to.

My Summer Soundtrack: The Rip Tide

2011-08-09T22:35:00.000-07:00

In the summer film that is Hillary Gamblin's life, the soundtrack is a lightly strummed ukulele, the hum of an accordion and intermittent bursts of a brass band.

Zach Condon, you have done it again. Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

Each Beirut album is an innovative experiment in sound. This particular album, The Rip Tide, is phenomenal because of its mature restraint in instrumentation. It is simple and has a sunny disposition. It sounds like summer, or what summer should sound like. It even indulges my lingering feelings of summer nostalgia...Once I hear that accordion and ukulele, I feel like I'm sitting in a field of sunflowers in the old country.

Picture of sunflower fields in Hungary (i.e. Old Country).

Rainier Cherries

2011-08-01T16:37:00.000-07:00

I love fresh fruit and the stands that sell it.

This summer when I was visiting my sister in New York, we went to Trader Joe's that had Rainier Cherries. Until then I had never considered people eating these cherries outsides of Washington. I mean, they are called Rainier cherries and I grew up in the foothills of Mt. Rainier, so it seemed like a local thing to do when I was growing up. I have been eating Rainier cherries my whole life. Correction, once I convinced myself that I could manage to spit out the seed and not choke to death, then I became a cherry eater. I have a lot of summer memories of going to local fruit stands to pick up Rainier Cherries. Let me tell you, there are no better cherries than Rainier Cherries; they are the sweetest type of cherry, larger than most, and have a creamy texture.

After my discovery in the New York Trader Joe's, I did a little research on Rainier Cherries--I know it's super nerdy. I discovered that Rainier cherries were cultivated by a professor at Washington State University in the 1950's--hence the christening "Rainier Cherry." They are considered by most people to be the best type of cherry you can buy--no surprises there. In fact, the Japanese will pay the equivalent of five dollars for a perfect Rainier cherry. The high price are a consequence of pampering necessary to make these cherries grow. To begin with, they are so particular about climate that they are only grown in northern California and Washington, but they grow best when in their homeland. And it's not just the Japanese and myself that find them delicious: one third of the crop are eaten by birds. Yes, birds will eat the entire cherrie and leave the pit hanging on the stem.

Manchester United vs. Seattle Sounders

2011-07-22T09:13:00.000-07:00

On my bucket list - along with items such as seeing Michelangelo's David - is to attend a Manchester United match at Old Trafford. While I did not see them play at Old Trafford, a few days ago I saw Manchester United play the Seattle Sounders. I had given up hope in buying a ticket; people were saying that acquiring tickets to this game was harder than Superbowl tickets. Yet, a miracle occurred as my brother Tyson bought two tickets off his friend the day of the match. Little did I know that Tyson's friend has the best tickets in Qwest stadium. I was literally thirty feet away from my idols; it was surreal.

Let me set the stage for one of the best nights of my life.

The team entered for warm ups with the captain leading the way. As a side note, my little brother Andrew finally converted to the Vidic fan club. I've always loved Vidic no nonsense style of defense, but after seeing him in person I officially have a crush on him. Goodness, the man is built. It is a well known fact that footballers are the most "fit" athletes (both denotation and British connotation apply), but Vidic is an exceptional example. Seriously, if you looked up athlete in the dictionary, his picture would be right next to it. So statuesque...

Then the team warmed up. Here is a picture of them doing what seems to be ninja warm ups, because they are soccer ninjas.

Here is the team returning from warm ups: I spy Rooney.

67052 fans made a tie died mural of green (supporters of the Sounders) and red (supporters of Man United). As I stated on my facebook: see all that red and green? Christmas has come early, and Rooney is the jolly old man that brings gifts to the kiddies: a hat trick in twenty minutes. But I'm getting ahead of myself here; I don't want to ruin the narrative I have going by giving away the ending.

Then Chihuly showed up. Random right? This narrative is getting a bit postmodern. Isn't he the epitome of a brilliant artist with his grey fro and eye patch?

They had done the coin toss on the space needle earlier that day. Brilliant.

Manchester United went out there and scored two goals, and we were on the end that witnessed them up close. Honestly, there is nothing more beautiful than a goal - everything must align perfectly for it to occur. Here is a picture of them celebrating after a goal.

Second half Man U showed us that the Sounders that are literally and metaphorically out of their league. They scored five goals in the half; Wayne had three of those goals. Here is one of my favorite pictures, because it has Rio, Rooney, and Vidic in it.

The final score was 0 to 7, and here is the man of the hour: Wayne Rooney. He made all of his goals seems effortless. Here is the best picture we have of him. It is not the most attractive photo; as one of my favorite youtube video says, "he's no oil painting," but his work on the pitch is art.

Thus ended one of the best nights of my life. If my narrative has failed to show the brilliance of this night, watch but this, and all is mended.

Meeting Will & Kate on P.E.I

2011-07-02T17:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, we did not meet Will and Kate on P.E.I, but we missed their royal visit by a few days. Instead, we trekked to the hotel that they were going to stay in. We were so disappointed. If we had known about their visit to the small Provence, we would have stayed a few extra days. Can you think of a more perfect way to bump into the royal darlings? I mean, they are stranded on a small island that is not too heavily populated; perfect stalking situation. I am positive that if Kate and I met, we would be best friends.

I mean, Kate and I would surely have met because we frequent the same classy institutions on P.E.I. For example, I am sure we would have met at the Lobster Supper: a brilliant restaurant located in a former V.F.W. hall that is popular among the local geriatrics. If we had stayed a few more days, Kate would have worn the bib next to me.

Victoria, P.E.I

2011-07-01T15:52:00.000-07:00

Victoria is a tiny town on the coast of Prince Edward Island. Although you can walk down main street in under 200 steps, this cozy coastal village became my favorite town that we visited in PEI. We originally visited it because it is well known for its functioning light house.

But one thing that the guidebook did not mention is that there are three Newfies - Newfoundland dogs - that populate Victoria and hang out together. Did I mention how large they are? They are bigger than my sister-in-law Sophia (see picture for evidence). On the left is Rufus; his owner decided to give him a lion haircut...possibly the greatest decision ever.

In such a small town--where the Newfie population rivals the humans-- they produce some fantastic dinning. Of course my mother, who is obsessed with chocolate, managed to locate the chocolatier in Victoria.

It is an adorable shop with peonies blooming in the front.

Most adorable antique/art shop.

Oldest tree in P.E.I

Victoria is also right on the coast, so we went to the beach afterward.

Yeah, Victoria is pretty great.

Anne of Green Gables Day

2011-06-30T13:42:00.000-07:00

You can have a brilliant time at Prince Edward Island if you are not an Anne of Green Gables fan; however, you may have more fun if you are an Anne fan. There are a few requirements to have a splendid Anne day at Prince Edward Island. To begin with, you must wear a dress with "puffed sleeves." In this picture we are wearing our puffed sleeves and singing the song that the minister's wife performs at Diana's wedding: "so promise me that some day you and I...."

If you do not have red hair, buy a straw hat with synthetic orange braids so you are worthy of the insult "carrots." Now you are dressed for Anne success.

Visit Green Gables.

We went to the Green Gables house that inspired Lucy Maud Montgomery. Yes, Green Gables does exist. Be prepared to see lots of Japanese. Apparently, Anne of Green Gables is extremely popular in Japan; it became required reading in Japanese public school sometime after WWII. Random, right? So here are two little Japanese boys sitting in the Anne buggy for a picture. We also took pictures - with our Anne hats - but these boys are so much cuter than we are.

Lucy Maud Montgomery lived next door to Green Gables. Here it is. Magical.

The inside of Green Gables is a museum of sorts that displays how this may have looked during the time that Lucy Maud was growing up. Can I just say that I love the name Maud. My sister mentioned it as a potential baby name and I thought it was terrible, but now I adore the name.

Visit Lover's Lane and the Haunted Woods. Lover's Lane and the Haunted woods also exist.

Ah, and there is a bridge on Lover's Lane. A friend of mine says that only good things happen on bridges; we often reference Anne and Gilbert for the prime example to back up this statement. I think it is fitting that there is a bridge on Lover's Lane.

Here Sophia and I are holding hands on Lover's Lane.

This is the pathway that Lucy Maud would walk to church. Her house was right next door to Green Gables.

This is the property that Lucy Maud grew up on. We went to a small little museum that was run by teenage girls that are Lucy Maud's relatives.

The only regret we had on our Anne day was not finding the "Lake of Shinning Waters." Yet there were other things that made up for this. One of these things was the memoribilia we bought at the shops. We are trying to look as young as we feel wearing these t-shirts. But then again, I don't feel like a school girl professing my love for Gilbert Blythe. Who does not love Gilbert Blythe?

Cycling through Prince Edward Island

2011-06-29T14:54:00.000-07:00

There is a bike trail that goes around the whole of Prince Edward Island, so we rented bikes one afternoon and cycled along part of the coast of PEI. I admit, part of our reasoning was to recreate some Anne moments; like when Gilbert falls into the pond while racing Anne. Next time that we visit PEI, and I will visit again, I am determined to bike a large part of the trail. Now I am not a great biker, in fact there are family stories that attest to the opposite, but I would cycle this trail because it is perhaps the most picturesque bike ride one could envision. Here our bikes resting while we explore. I was wishing for more of a retro Anne style model, but "you can't always get what you want."

I can rock a bicycle helmet.

Seriously, can you find any place more gorgeous than this island?

Okay so there was one pregnant sister on this trip. I am not that sister; however, I look more pregnant in this photo than she did the entire trip.

I adore this photo.

These just grew wild on every roadside. Even the side of the roads - perhaps the ugliest and smuttiest part of any country/city - was verdant and gorgeous. They are called Lupine, which makes me think of Lupin from Harry Potter; yet another reason to love these flowers.

After our cycling, we visited the red/pink beach. We climbed the cliff in order to recreate an Anne & Diana moment. Afterwards I surfed down on the sand; everyone thought I was going to kill myself, but I had complete control the whole time. It was possibly the "coolest" moment of my life.

Okay, so we are not the best at recreating the scene, but it felt legit.

Anne's House of Dreams

2011-06-25T08:23:00.000-07:00

We drove from Montréal to Prince Edward Island - affectionately known by many as P.E.I. On that scenic drive, we went across one of the longest bridge in the world: Confederation Bridge. It is over eight miles long. It was a little unnerving to be driving on a bridge for that length. We arrived at our little house that we rented for the week, and it was just as special as Anne's House of Dream. This is picture of us walking into the house after our long road trip.

This is our little beach.

My mother making dinner. I went and picked those wildflowers by the roadside and brought them to her.

Here we are in our puffed sleeved dresses outside our house of dreams.

Montréal, je t’aime

2011-06-23T17:08:00.000-07:00

Montreal reminds me of Europe with its large parks, cobblestone streets, cathedrals and

elegant architecture. Oh, and the fact that they speak French also adds to that European vibe. Although the city you see to your left is beautiful, Montreal was not always such a classy place. During Prohibition Americans would cross the boarder for a night of drunken splendor. I wish all red light districts would turn out this well. It has calmed down since then, or at least the part of town we were in seemed mildly tame. Our excitement came from getting lost and intermittent torrential rain during our exploration of the city.

We walked to the top of Parc du Mont-Royal, which proffered an incredible view of both sides of the city. The landscape was designed by Olmsted, who also did the landscape for Central Park.

As you can tell, we were soaked by the time we

reached the top of Olmsted's masterpiece.

One of the greatest things about the park is that McGill University buildings are perched around the edges. I would love to teach/attend McGill. It is simply a magical university with Neo-Gothic architecture surrounded by lush greenery. If I can't attend Hogwarts, this is a satisfactory substitution. I better stop practicing spells and start improving my French.

The Montreal City Hall is a brilliant building.

Just look at the lovely copper roof.

Like many European countries, the food was scrumptious. Yes, it was scrumptious. We had pastries in the morning - pain au chocolat -creamy soups and sandwiches for lunch, and tasty polish food for dinner. This is a table view of our food at Olive & Gourmando.

Quebec: They Really Speak French

2011-06-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

Since I grew up a few hours from the Canadian border, trips to Whistler did not really seem like a foreign excursion. The line on maps delineated a different country, but crossing those lines physically made the distinction seem arbitrary. I mean, they spoke English without any telling accents. I don't think this was entirely fair criteria to test Canadian nationality. Yes language does contribute an important role in a sense of nationality, but language certainly does not generate/encapsulate all feelings of nationality.

Well this summer I went to Canada and it did seem like a foreign country because I visited Quebec. You see, in Quebec they speak French. Yes, they really speak French. Well, it sounds like a different language than the Parisian French I learned - they incorporate the hard Canadian "aye" into their pronunciation.

Do not worry, I still found a way to communicate despite the Quebec accent. When we got lost in a less touristy part of town. I had to use my mad French skills:

Où est le magasin de

anthropolgie?

Those three years of high school French and five semesters of University French really paid off.

Coming Soon on Musings of an Elitist: More on my summer excursion to Quebec, Prince Edward Island & New York

University Student Design on a Dime

2011-06-20T11:44:00.000-07:00

It's been an experience moving into my new home at the John Taylor House. I've learned how to wash my own carpets using a Rug Doctor, paint my first wall, replace couch cushions, and assemble IKEA furniture very poorly. While I am by no means finished, last night I felt satisfied with the basic furniture of my living room: I now have a vintage TV stand, an IKEA dinning table, vintage couch and chair, freshly painted walls and clean carpets.

I've made some mistakes & learned some valuable things:

Do not buy expensive paint before looking at samples.

Vintage cushions may shrink when washed in a washer.

Finding replacement foam for couch cushions is expensive, and the foam must be cut with a butcher knife to fit the dimensions of your cushion.

People at Home Depot are your friends. Get to know their names, because you will be

conversing with them often.

Cheap furniture is cheap. You may not return it after you assemble it, and it may lean after assembled.

Know your weaknesses and exploit your friends that have strengths in those areas. I'm terrible at assembling IKEA furniture, but my friend Janet is brilliant at it. I'm a novice at painting walls, but my friends Rebecca and Whitney are experts.

Despite all the mistakes, I feel that my room is turning out splendidly so far. Please excuse the terrible quality of the photos; I do not have a camera at the moment so I am using my computer.

Next steps: find proper shelves for my books that are currently residing on the window seal, purchase dining chairs, paintings, lamps, rugs, pillows and throws.

Running Away from the Ice Cream Man

2011-06-13T13:40:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks, I've heard the summertime melody of the ice cream truck passing by my house. Ah, what better conjures up memories of summer as a kid more than the visit of an ice cream truck? It remind me of innocence; it is the myth of happy American suburbia. I personally loved the ice cream man. In fact, the last time I heard his music I ran after him like this hilarious commercial. And when I heard his music a week ago, I had that same urge to chase after him, but now there is another urge: grab all neighboring children and run away like this fine group of individuals. It seems counter intuitive, right? Who runs away from delicious, icy treats on a hot summers day? Yet I feel this retreat is just as natural as the impulse to run towards the ice cream truck. Think about it: a stranger who drives a large refrigerated van - perfect for preserving who knows what- and passes out ice cream to innocent, unassuming children. Perhaps I've been watching too many Criminal Minds episodes, but it seems like the perfect profession for a sick individual. I also feel justified in my aversion, because this week I saw a ghetto minivan masquerading as a ice cream truck by plastering stickers of merchandise on the doors. At least this rouse was easy to spot. Argh, growing up is painfully disillusioning. Next someone is going to tell me that lemonade stands run by children is indoctrinating the young with the ruthless mentality of capitalism. The only possible way to deal with such disconcerting feelings about the innocent diversions of my youth? Go buy some ice cream - preferably from an ice cream man.

The Famous Mingling with the Famous

2011-06-07T10:04:00.000-07:00

My friend, Becky just sent me the link to this fascinating tumbler. It posts funny photos of odd couplings like Snoop and Martha Stewart cooking in the kitchen, or just contemporary celebrities hanging out. My favorite photos are the vintage photos that show some unexpected minglings. For example, this photo to the left is Andy Warhol and Alfred Hitchcock.

John Steinbeck, Watson & Crick

Helen Keller & Charlie Chaplin

Walt Disney & Salvador Dali

Cary Grant & Amelia Earhart

Paul Newman & Robert Redford

Okay so this is not necessarily an unexpected mingling, but I just like it for the...aesthetic value. Yes, aesthetic value is a euphemism.

Hawaiian Cowboys & Shark Round-Ups

2011-05-31T16:14:00.001-07:00

So I visited the big island this past week and I learned some interesting things about Hawaii:

Exotic Flowers

I never knew so much exotic flora existed. These flowers look like some sort of candy from the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka movie.

Goat Cheese

Hawaii produces delicious goat cheese. Fresh goat cheese with basil and macadamia nut? Yes, please. It still was not as good as the goat cheese I tasted in Greece. But goat cheese brought by a cute Greek boy that says "my mother just milked the goat this morning" is a hard act to beat.

Hawaiian Cowboys

When they decided to build cattle ranches up in the hills of the big island, they brought in Mexican cowboys to teach the locals. The Mexican cowboys enjoyed it so much that they stuck around, and now there is still a strong Hawaiian cowboy culture on the big island.

Shark Round-Ups

The Spaniards have their bullfights, the American West has bull riding, and the Hawaiians have shark round-ups. What is a shark round--up? It is exactly what it sounds like: you lasso a shark and tie it to the boat. It all started when cattle would either fall of the cliffs into the ocean or they would drown when the cowboys would swim them boats for transport. Obviously, sharks began to congregate in these areas to catch an easy meal. So these crazy Hawaiian cowboys would go out to these areas and lasso themselves a big ol' shark. People still do it today because Hawaiian have spirit animals - for many it is a shark - and they like to get close and personal with their spirit animal. I'm a bit conflicted with the whole shark round up. I keep asking myself if I would go on one if someone offered - which will never happen - and I'm still not sure what I would say.

Portuguese Doughnuts/Malasadas

The best doughnuts in the world are Portuguese. They are the best because they are so light and fluffy. (I also had a Hawaiian tell me that the Portuguese in Hawaii are the equivalent to the Polish in America). I don't understand why they say that; they gave you the best doughnuts ever. So if you are ever in Hawaii, go to Tex Drive In for the best doughnut in the world.

The State of Hawaii

Hawaii is one of the most recent states to join the United States, and while in Hawaii I read Benedict Anderson's book, Imagined Communities. It was an interesting place to be reading a book that postulates about the modern phenomenon of nationalism. I finally plucked up enough courage to ask people how they felt about being a part of the United States. The answer I got was that it was hell for white people to live in Hawaii during the 60's and 70's. While the younger generation seems to be more ambivalent about it, the older people still feel strongly about it.

Champions League Final 2010-2011

2011-05-28T10:31:00.000-07:00

I'm a huge Manchester United fan. Now I know some girls say they like soccer and they can't name a player besides David Beckham. I am not one of those girls. So of course being an avid Red Devils fan, I'm extremely excited for the Champions League final today. To get ready for the final, I revisited Man U's European Cup victories.

The first is the emotional win in the 1967-68: Manchester beat Benfica 4-1. It was emotional win as manager Matt Busby (Busby Babes) led his team to a victory ten year after the horrible Munich air disaster.

Here is a video with the highlights

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qky33ED9QAA

Next up is the nail-biting win in the 1998-1999 European Cup. I love seeing all the Man U veterans looking so young and re-visiting the David Beckham years. You must watch this clip of the highlights. It is possibly one of the most exciting football matches ever.

Here is a video with the highlights

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVj7IpnkySo

Finally, the all-English final of 2007-2008. It ended with a penalty shoot out with my least favorite team in the Premier League: Chelsea (sorry, Rachel). It was a great game full of wonderful saves and goals. But goodness, it was nerve wreaking at the end. I love how this match was held Moscow because FIFA was hoping to keep hooliganism to a minimum with the threat of Russian prisons. It was quite successful. (Side note: ESPN magazine just published an extremely interesting article about hooliganism in the UK). Never underestimate Russian prisons. Yet it didn't keep the ugliness off the pitch; the egotistical, greasy haired, Didier Drogba got sent off for slapping Vidic. No one slaps Vidic and gets away with it. I love Vidic.

Here is a video with the highlights

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5K7DJLA5Fk

Well, all I can say is that I hope it is not a repeat of the 2008-2009 European Cup. We played terrible; it was one of the most frustrating matches I've ever watched. Subsequently, I'm not going to give a link to that match. Instead, let's aim for me ending the day singing "Glory, glory Man United!"

Le Chocolat

2011-05-25T11:40:00.000-07:00

I thought I was an elitist when it came to chocolate. Apparently, I have nothing on the French.

I remember during French class spending five minutes practicing the correct pronunciation of

"le chocolat." My professor justified this tangent by claiming that mispronouncing this word is offensive to French ears. I thought his was exaggerating a smidge. But then I tasted gourmet French chocolate this weekend and realized that it was no exaggeration. My brother-in-law was kind enough to share his birthday chocolate that just arrived from Paris.

A box of chocolates of world renowned chocolatier, Christian Constant

I never had the pallet for dark chocolate - or so I thought. Apparently I was not eating the right kind of chocolate. Now eating milk chocolate just tastes too sweet. I love the texture of Christian Constant's chocolates - they are so smooth. He also takes the most interesting ingredients - by interesting I mean it sounds disgusting - to make the most complimentary tastes. For example, I enjoyed the rose and raisin chocolate. Sounds disgusting, right?

Au Contraire, Mon Frère

It was incredible.

A bar of chocolate from La Maison du Chocolat

They polish each individual chocolate at this establishment.

So I am a convert to French chocolate. As for pronouncing "le chocolat" perfectly, I wouldn't want to offend French ears because then they might not give me their chocolate.

My New Home: The John Taylor House

2011-05-10T19:12:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new home: The John Taylor House. It is called the John Taylor House because one of his wives lived here. It's actually an amusing story. So John Taylor lived in the neighboring brick house and after he died, one of his polygamist wives - who detested one of the other polygamist wives - built her own house on the property. She built it on an angle so neither of them could not see each other from their windows. Talk about polygamist drama - Sister Wives has nothing on my house.

Yes, I'm living in a polygamist home. There are girls who live above me, so I guess you could call it a polygamist home or a brothel. My friend who goes to Syracuse for her doctorate lived in a house that they had to make into two separate apartments because according to New York State law, if a certain amount of girls lived in a house together in a house it is considered a brothel. So take your pick between brothel or polygamist home.

Here is the entryway to my basement apartment in the John Taylor House.

Here is my kitchen. One of my favorite things about this house is the shelves with the original

industrial heater

below. I cannot wait to fill the shelves with antique plates

and milk glass vases.

Another favorite feature is the archway over the shower and tub.

I think industrial, accordion heaters are fantastic. I can't tell you why, but I just love them. Perhaps it is because they are shaped like an accordion? We all know how much I love accordions.

Because I do not have any furniture yet, I've stacked all my books in the window seal to keep the floor clear. Although not having furniture is a bit frustrating at the moment, it is also exciting. I can decorate an apartment in a style that I like; I've decided to go with the mid century Danish style. I feel like Liz Lemon, because I've had the awful urge to nest lately, but I'm not married - I'm such a terrible specimen of a Mormon girl - and so I have not really been in a situation or had the excuse to nest. Thank goodness I got in the graduate program, because now I can use that as an excuse.

Here is the view from my bedroom. (There are two bedrooms in this apartment; I'm looking for a roommate to move in June if anyone is interested). I've actually come to prefer the view from a basement apartment; you get to see all the trees and flowers better. You can tell I'm really in love; I'm even finding it's faults - being in the basement - charming.

So if your in town, come visit me at my polygamist apartment.

Craigslist Nazi

2011-05-09T14:18:00.001-07:00

During the next few days, I will be moving into a house that is unfurnished. Problem: I do not own a stitch of furniture. I'm borrowing a blow up mattress; it is that pathetic. Since I'm a poor college student, I've been scouring craigslist for the past few weeks looking for furniture. During these weeks I've realized my calling in life: the Craigslist Nazi.

Holy Couches

This idea of becoming a Craigslist Nazi began when a listing for a couch stated that it used to be in an LDS/Mormon temple. What the what. Do you seriously consider this a persuasive selling point? I don't know about you, but personally I think this tidbit is deterring. Having a "holy" couch in their living room would make me feel like I aways have to be on good behavior; I couldn't sprawl across it and watch movies because it is not pious enough.

The "Elegant" & "Classy"

I have also noticed a pattern with ads that use the words "elegant" and "classy." At first, I would see these words in the title description and click on the link eagerly only to see some of the most hideous furnishings ever constructed. Seriously, you think that is classy? This happened so consistently that I now avoid even clicking on posts with these words. My friend Becky's mother says "classy people do not use the word classy." Truer words have never been spoken. As the Cragislist Nazi, I would write emails banning them from using these words.(Also, words "decorative" and "unique" is code for run for the hills). Why can't people just be honest? How refreshing would it be to see a by-line that reads "hideous, but cheap couch"? Most college boys would take it in an instant, while girls like myself would avoid it like the plague. As Shakespeare says, "sell when you can: you are not for all markets." Figure out which market your product appeals to and then use the appropriate rhetoric to appeal to that group.

Firewood

There was one couch that the seller re-posted every few hours with the description "need to sell today." It was the most homely and disgusting couch I've ever seen. His frantic re-posting tempted me to email this person and say "your incessant re-posting makes you seem desperate and rather pathetic. Here is a hint: no one will purchase this couch - the only parlor it belongs to is in a garbage bin."

I know the beauty of craigslist is the democratic idea that anyone can put anything on craigslist, but it's becoming inundated with misleading blurbs and furniture that should be used as fire wood. Craigslist is in dire needs of a Craigslist Nazi, and I'm the perfect person for the job. I would love the power and prestige that comes with this job.

What do you do for a living?

Oh I'm the Craigslist Nazi.

Wow. That's you?

Yes

Also, I'm not afraid to say "No craigslist for you!"

A Breathless Coupe de Cheveux

2011-05-04T09:46:00.000-07:00

À bout de souffle.

Breathless. It's a movie directed by Jean Luc-Godard that is on several lists of the best movies of all time. While taking one of my french courses last spring, I attempted to watch it. I must be the most terrible "elitist" in the history of blogging, because I got bored and didn't finish it. Don't worry though, some "elitist" goodness came out of it - I fell in love with Jean Seberg's haircut.

As spring and summer are approaching, I'm tempted to just chop off all my hair into this chic, boy hair cut.

Of course she is has the better face, but I think we sort of similar face shapes. So it could potentially work, right?

Oh who am I kidding? Only Natalie Portman and Emma Watson can pull off this short of a haircut.

Remaining Sane: A Stroll Down the Keep Calm Gallery

2011-04-30T11:46:00.001-07:00

I have been stressed, a procrastinator, annoyed,

frustrated, lazy, and tired of things not working out these past few weeks. Depressing, right? Then I came across this website called the Keep

Calm Gallery. It is perfect because I needed to attend a virtual gallery that instructed me to remain calm and carry on. I highly recommend taking a stroll down the Keep Calm Gallery, so that you can find some sanity as well.

You know what, the world is my oyster. I'm going to make this damn world into a pearl if it is the last thing I do.

I will make a salad tonight. I've totally abandoned healthy eating now that I no longer have my little brother to cook for, but I will not longer neglect eating my greens.

My eyes have been bothered by my contacts lately. I wonder if this is a poignant metaphor for my life or just a sign I need to visit the optometrist. Either way, I fear

something is wrong with this beholder's eyes.

Hmmm...the damage of gossip. Yes, a very important lesson to learn. I need to stop complaining and speaking ill of the world in public places...like blogs.

I need to make some tea and curl up with a good book.

I seriously want to frame this and place it in my kitchen.

As I'm trying to move and pack up this week, I hope that I can keep all my belongings.

Thanks, Keep Calm Gallery - it's been a fruitful stroll down the gallery.

A Spot of Tea

2011-04-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.

-Henry James

William and Kate's Royal Wedding reminds me of those girlish dreams of marrying a prince - not going to lie, in most of those dreams it was Prince William. This same region of my brain that is responsible for these daydreams is also responsible for the urge to have tea parties. As a little girl, I would dress up in my older sister's prom dresses that enveloped me like I was the center of a fluffy pastry. Then I would gently take out grandma's china tea set and fill the cups with hot water, the creamer with corn pops and place cheeze its on a platter (aka crumpets). All this talk about the royal wedding has awakened those adolescent dreams of becoming a princess. It's really not even nostalgia; I still believe in the possibility. Along with the re-awakened dream of living in a palace, is the urge for tea parties.

Tea parties are brilliant affairs. To begin with, I love tea. Last summer I cooled myself down with Iced Passion Tea Lemonade. Even the instruments for making and drinking tea - tea pot, sugar and creamer, and tea cups - are so delicate.

And the hats. Oh, the hats! I love trying on hats at vintage stores, and I could spend hours looking at Yestadt Millinery's inventory. (Unfortunately, I could not manage to get a picture of my favorite hat from their website, so look up the "cookie" hat. Gorgeous.) For a taste of the the style, Anthropologie has a few of there hats: the Periwinkle Plaid Boater.Another store I peruse is

Then there are the clothes. For some reason, I always think of tea parties in some chic historical setting. I wish I could have a tea party dressed like the women in the Edwardian drama, Downton Abbey.I love Mary's dress in this picture (center). There is nothing more chic than well placed lace on an article of clothing. Lace and stripes? Genius.

I also love photos that I love posted on The Sartorialist last summer. They look like they could go to a tea party.

And having tea outside? Perfection. I threw a Garden Party last summer for my engaged friend, Kati e (no not that Kate).

I made the Iced Passion Tea Lemonade and decorated with bouquets of hydrangeas and sprigs of mint cut fresh from our yard atop lace tablecloths. But there was a shocking lack of vintage parasols.

Then again, it is also nice to curl up in an old chair with a good book, sipping a cup of tea. No lace. No hats. Just a good old fashioned cup of tea.

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me"

-C.S. Lewis

Shakespearean Profanity

2011-04-23T21:07:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday Shakespeare

To celebrate the bard's birthday, I suggest you use an insult today penned by the love of my life.

"Thou smell of mountain goat"

"Scratching could not make it worse...such a face as yours"

"Bolting-hutch of beastliness"

"I was searching for a fool when I found you"

"Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes"

"Cream faced loon"

"Thou crusty batch of nature"

"There is not ugly a friend of hell as thou shalt be"

"The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes"

"Thine face is not worth sunburning"

"You are a candle, the better burnt out"

Régine Chassagne is a Rockstar

2011-04-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

This blog post is way overdue. Typical. I am a notoriously talented procrastinator. Ironically, blogging helps me be a procrastinator in other facets of my life, but this time I've procrastinated blogging about the Arcade Fire concert that I went to a week ago. It's about time I saw them in concert. Two years ago,I had the opportunity to see the perform but I decided to stay home and write a paper. That is a big regret - and I don't often believe in regretting things. Now I regret that decision even more, because their concert last week was incredible.

Their use of film was genius. Some of it was disquieting: i.e. black and white film of women swimmers treading water. My favorite clips were during the song, "The Suburbs." It showed teenage kids messing around on their bikes in front of their houses. The combination of that and the song made me extremely nostalgic: I want to be a kid during the summertime again.

One of my favorite songs they performed was "Intervention." Before singing, they prefaced it with mentioning how a dollar of our ticket money was going to support Haiti. I love how they are still supporting Haiti. Years after a disaster - when everyone forgets - is the crucial rebuilding period; they need the support more than ever. That coupled with the lyrics, "Oh! Who's gonna reset the bone?" almost made me tear up.

But the highlight of the concert was Régine Chassagne.She is a rock star. My friend Kylie always says people are rock stars, but she is the real deal. These are the reasons she is a rock star:

1. She plays the accordion

We all know how I feel about the accordion.

2. She plays multiple instruments, which is the sign of a gifted musician.

3. Her outfits

4. She is Canadian

I love Canadians. I cannot wait for my road trip to Prince Edward Island this summer, and to see my Canadian friend Janet when she gets back from studying abroad in New Zealand.

5. Her dancing

Oh my goodness, her dancing is a revelation. It's eccentrically raw. It is refreshing to see someone not restrict and conform their emotions to movements that society views as "normal dancing."

When she was singing Sprawl II, she spun around swirling the colorful ribbons on her tambourine...sigh...there are no words for that moment.

Reader, I married him

2011-04-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

While many movie directors’ desperate attempts to stay true to a book makes them forget they are making an adaptation, Cary Funkunaga Jane Eyre illustrates that he understands that a movie should use the unique elements as a medium to provide additional depth and insight to a novel.

One way in which Funkunaga "adapted" Jane Eyre was the liberty he took in presenting the story en media res – it proved to be an absolutely brilliant stroke. It allowed Funkunaga to condense the earlier portions of the book; as the Rivers’ question Jane about her history the camera would cut to short snippets of Jane’s memory to answer the question. When St. John asks about her school, the camera abruptly cuts to the back of a girl’s bare neck that is struck with a stick. In one shot, Funkunaga encapsulated Jane’s experience at Lowell school.

Okay, so Funkunaga knows how to work a camera, but was it really necessary to present yet another movie of Jane Eyre? Jane Eyre has been translated to the screen more than a dozen times – surely everyone has said it all. Right? Au contraire, contrare mon frère! Because so many movie adaptations simply portray the book as a love story, Funkunaga wished to illustrate that there is much more to the novel. Although this adaptation begins in the middle and cuts out large portions of the book, it is the most successful at emphasizing the bildungsroman genre. Mia Wasikowska – thank you for an actress that is not over 30 playing the role of a teenager – shows how Jane is growing up by highlighting her discovery that she has a libido. The movie highlights Jane's ground zero by Jane's conversation with Mrs. Fairfax. This reminds the audience how naive Jane is – she has not traveled or even interacted with men in years; talk about sheltered. The cure? A sexy Byronic hero played by Michael Fassebender. He is perfect – (perfectly sexy.) I mean if this scene does not awaken your libido, you might as well cloister yourself in a nunnery.

It’s not all sex though - it portrays Rochester as – dare I say it – patient. Eh, perhaps patient is a stretch. But I always hated reading the numerous conversations in which Rochester pretends he is going to marry Blanche Ingram; he is such a manipulative jerk. Yet the movie highlighted more of Rochester’s motive – which downplayed the cruelty – by presenting the context of Rochester as a mentor in Jane’s journey to personal discovery. Rochester knows she needed to discover and boldly declare her love for him, so he used jealousy as a tool to exhume these feelings that were deep inside her. (I still think it was manipulatively Machiavellian, but it was a bit more palatable in this interpretation.)

That being said, the proposal scene left me a bit miffed. I don’t know if they used up all the passion juices in the earlier almost-kiss-scene, but I did not feel the chemistry here. One friend suggested that it was because the score was not utilized enough to draw out our emotions. It could be that. Personally, I think Jane is just a bad kisser. (Granted she is better than the last Jane Eyre adaptation. I think Toby Stephens didn’t know how to handle that huge frog mouth and just decided that aiming anywhere on the lower half of her face would ensure a hit – unfortunately he still missed her mouth every time.)

Another element that Funkunaga resurrected from the novel is the Gothic roots. Yes everyone, Funkunaga has put the Gothic back in Jane Eyre. He utilizes long drawn out silences that are interrupted by rearing horses, birds shooting out of the underbrush, and smoke cascading from chimneys. I literally jumped in my seat several times. However, I do wish that Funkunaga could have played up the mad wife in the attic a bit more though. I mean, a mad wife hidden in the attic? How can you not play that up? That is straight Gothic gold sent from the Gothic Gods.

Like the movie, I'm going to end this long review with an abrupt end. While the movie had its faults, lackluster chemistry and exploitation of the lunatic upstairs, this proved to be an incredible movie. Better yet, it proved to be a brilliant adaptation.

Trying not to Trip & Douches: Adventures at the National Undergraduate Literary Conference

2011-04-04T14:22:00.000-07:00

Last time I presented at a national literary conference, I tripped in front of all the prominent Cormac McCarthy scholars on my long walk to the podium. Luckily, I managed to stay on my feet this weekend when I presented at the National Undergraduate Literature Conference.

The NULC is held at Weber State University. Random, right? I thought it was fake - by fake I mean that I thought they were just titling it a "national" conference when in actuality, the only participants were university students studying in Utah. After meeting people that traveled from Florida, Washington, California, Idaho, and Colorado I realized that it is legit. It's always nice to realize that you are presenting at a legit conference.

Another random thing about the conference was the re-occurring topic of douches. It began with my friend Amy, who presented a brilliant paper examining different levels of violence in a play by T.S. Elliot. In her analysis she examined this particular part of the play:

SWEENEY: I knew a man once did a girl in
Any man might do a girl in ...
Once in a lifetime, do a girl in.

Well he kept there in a bath
With a gallon of lysol in a bath

Amy argued that this image of preserving a body in Lysol functions as a violent attack at the audience for their perversion of fertility rituals. She came to this conclusion because during this time Lysol was advertised as a douche and was believed to also function as a birth control. Don't worry, they soon discovered using Lysol this way could be fatal.

I'm not going to lie, I'm jealous that Amy got to use the word douche several times at an academic conference. It has always been a goal of mine to use unsettling words in such an erudite environment.

But the douche references did not end there! A guest poet, Sharon Olds read a poem entitled "Ode to a Douche." What are the odds? The poem began with how my peers use the term Douche bag without knowing that it symbolized the suppression of women. Suffice it to say that I became a fan of her work; she combines humor, poignant thoughts and speaks about female experiences without being cliche (i.e. being a mother). Apparently other people like her too. She was invited by President George W. Bush to the National Book Festival. She published a letter to the first lady declining the invitation, and ended with:

"So many Americans who had felt pride in our country now feel anguish and shame, for the current regime of blood, wounds, and fire. I thought of the clean linens at your table, the shining knives, and the flames of the candles, and I could not stomach it."

Damn.

I wish that some day I will be able can write something this powerful to someone as powerful as the first lady.

This is the reason I love literary conferences: the stimulating conversations, hearing provocative ideas, using the word douche in an academic paper, being inspired, and experiencing the deep sense of camaraderie with people who love to study literature.

Fashion: Boutique Multiculturalism

2011-03-27T20:03:00.001-07:00

The other day I looked at my outfit and realized it was not particularly PC: I was wearing my vintage cowboy boots, a Navajo print shirt and a necklace I bought off a Bedouin on Mt. Sinai. As people would comment on my outfit, I would respond by explaining my weariness of being a walking contradiction. By walking contradiction, I was referring to the fact that I was wearing a symbol of American westward expansion - boots - and a pattern from a people exploited by Manifest Destiny - shirt. But then I realized something even worse, people could interpret my "eclectic" outfit as me being a Boutique Multiculturalist.

Oh dear, I can see it now: people on my college campus spotting my outfit and smugly thinking to themselves, "what a boutique multiculturalist."

It is one of my goals in life to avoid being associated with Stanley Fish. Fish's argument boldly asserts that multiculturalism is an impossibility; a statement that just pisses liberals off. Oh Stanley, you just love pushing those liberal's buttons, don't you? In his words, this term refers to the "multiculturalism of ethnic restaurants, weekend festivals, and high profile flirtations with the other" (1). The superficiality of this brand of multiculturalism becomes apparent as "the boutique multiculturalist will accord a superficial respect to cultures other than his own, a respect he will withdraw when he finds the practices of a culture irrational or inhumane" (3).

Does my outfit - fashion - apply to this culturally flirtatious group?

At a certain level it appears to be incompatible, because it seems that the importance of aesthetics in fashion attempts to divorce any deep cultural meaning behind a particular look. For example, for many the Boho-chic refers to a look that has little to do with the pretentious pretending of tolerance for bohemian and hippie lifestyles. So those who wears these styles do not profess to advocate different cultures. Then again, wearing the outfit inherently suggests that you are well traveled, and in tune with other cultures. So maybe fashionistas are the lowest of the low in the boutique mutliculturalist group.

For many fashion is blindly following a trend. It is those 13 year old girls who wear a Kufiya and have no idea what region of the world it originates from. However, I feel that within the fashion industry are people who understand the aesthetic beauty of different cultures and incorporate it into their creations. Perhaps it is a bond with a culture at a very basic level, appreciating craftsmanship, innovation and beauty.

I could be being an idealistic liberal - I'm sure Fish would see it that way. Even if i am being idealistic, it is a healthy beginning to be aware that the incorporation of different cultures into fashion is problematic. I like to think that my outfit is a symbolic healing of an old wound. Okay, that is perhaps taking it a little too far. Honestly, this blog post is just a way for me to feel better about a culturally insensitive outfit, because I like that outfit and I want to wear it again guilt free. I also wrote this to justify the fact that for over two years I've wanted

a handbag made out of a Native American blanket.

I'm such a boutique multiculturalist.

Accordion Love

2011-03-21T20:37:00.001-07:00

It's one of my life goals to date/marry someone who plays the accordion. It's super nerdy and random. I blame it on:

Enjoying French films

That it's an instrument firmly rooted in folk music

Being in love with Beirut for five years

The fact that it has bellows, and I like saying that word.

The memory of an old, Florentine restaurant owner who came and played his accordion while we ate dinner

And that accordionists are just plain sexy

I also have a thing for guys who play the banjo.

St. Patrick's Day

2011-03-17T10:32:00.001-07:00

Last year, I took a class that made me question traditions: can traditions be positive or negative? This questioning began right around the time of St. Patrick's Day, which led me to question my tradition of wearing green and eating lucky charms on St. Patrick's Day. These are fun traditions, but I came to the conclusion that these acts have been stripped of any substantive meaning for most Americans.

It's a hollow tradition.

I didn't want to blindly take part in this tradition any longer, so I went to the library and checked out a book about the celebration of St. Patrick's Day in America. St. Patrick's Day became a holiday in the early 20th century because of the conscious effort of Irish Americans to show their support for the Ireland's movement for independence.

If you don't think I'm nerdy yet, it gets worse. I'm sure my roommates hated me for doing this, but at our St. Patrick's Day feast of dyed green eggs, bacon and pancakes, I brought down a stack of books containing my favorite Irish writers. Then I made them listen to me as I read passages from James Joyce and Yeats.

So here are a few passages to celebrate St. Patrick's Day:

"The Dead"
A few light taps upon the pane made him turn to the window. It had begun to snow again. He watched sleepily the flakes, silver and dark, falling obliquely against the lamplight. The time had come for him to set out on his journey westward. Yes, the newspapers were right: snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the c o rooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

Hunger

A few months ago I watched this film on Instant Netflix. It is about the hunger strike led by IRA leader Bobby Sands. I was blown away. It is directed by Steve McQueen, written by Edna Walsh (a brilliant playwright whom I love), and acted by the talented, beautiful Michael Fassbender.

You can watch the trailer here.

"Hunger" Sands & Priest Dialogue: witness some incredible dialogue.

"Lakes Isles of Innisfree"

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,

Dropping from the veils of the mourning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.

A Very Hipster Weekend

2011-03-12T13:59:00.000-08:00

If you want to be a hipster, this is how you should pass your Friday nights:

1. Find a friend that is at the same level or higher on the hipster hierarchy to be your comrade in arms for this weekend outing. I chose my good friend Amy, who is fantastically stylish, a brilliant creative writer and a film aficionado. She is also Asian, and as my friend Becky says"It's so hip to be Asian right now."

2. Replenish your hipster wardrobe by shopping at off the beaten path stores to set the latest unique fashionable trend (i.e. a vintage store, salvation army, D.I, or Urban Outfitters for a synthetic hipster look).

Plunder: Structured, faux snake skin purse and a velvet hat bedecked with feather

We went to Decades: one of the best affordable vintage shops. I desperately wanted this simple yet chic cream 1960's dress. Alas, it was too small. Luckily it fit Amy's tiny Asian body perfectly. Ah, to be a hip, tiny Asian.

3. Go to a hole in the wall restaurant that serves organic food and saves the world. For us, One World Everybody Eats fit the bill. When you go to this restaurant avoid showing elements of your character that contradict the easy going and cool nature of the hipster persona. For example, do not ask if there is liquor in the split pea chicken soup because it tastes suspicious. I know it is hard, you may have had past experiences in which servers accidentally give you alcohol, but overcome this paranoia that is not hipsterish and just eat the damn soup.

4. Go to an event that is obscurely highbrow (a good test of this is to ask yourself: would Matthew Arnold approve of this?) and has quirky elements that give it a slightly kitschy flavor - this is your cool factor. We decided to go to a silent Buster Keaton film with live organ music. *Notice the Buster Keaton film is the obscure highbrow and the organ music is the quirk*

5. Intelligently discuss the event. If you feel like the event was ridiculous, do not say so. Admitting this will destroy all your credibility as a hipster. If you cannot come up with an intelligent observation, do not panic; hipsters are by definition posers. In fact I'm sure your friends are struggling with the same conundrum. To keep up appearances, simply feign appreciation and speak about how the masses fail to be cultured hipsters like yourselves.

For example, "I thought the part with the umbrella was clever. The slow motion, which I did not realized was used as a film technique during the silent film era, exaggerated the physics going on to a Mary Poppins level. It also highlighted Buster Keaton's genius as a comedic contortionist. People really miss out on the peak of slapstick humor by refusing to see silent films."

If you do the following, congratulations you are on your way to being a hipster. Now don't tell all your friends of your success - admiting you are a hipster or calling yourself a hipster destroys the most important element of being a hippster: pretending to not be self conscious about being cool. Now you may wonder about my credibility to instruct you how to be a hipster when I've proclaimed myself a hipster and thus broken the cardinal rule of hipsterdim.

My reply? Exactly, Becky Hayes.

Save Antiques Roadshow

2011-02-26T14:28:00.000-08:00

I've recently read several intellectual arguments for or against the Republicans budget proposal that would cut funding for PBS and NPR. To be frank I don't understand half of what they are arguing about and nor do I care. They can argue about politics, freedom of speech, and educational programming until kingdom come, but if Antiques Roadshow is taken off PBS I will be legitimately pissed.

For those who have not experienced the brilliance of Antiques Roadshow, it is a program that travels around the country and gives local people the opportunity to have their antiques appraised by professionals. It may sound a bit droll, but nothing can describe the suspense that builds as the expert slowly reveals the unique history of an antique and you wonder: will it only be worth a few hundred dollars or a few thousands? (In my experience it is always the Native American artifacts that consistently hit the jackpot.)

Not only is it suspenseful and an interesting, but the “human” aspect of the show is brilliant. Those who bring in their antiques are consistently eccentric, and the antiquarian’s extreme passion for obscure topics (e.g. 19^th century toy soldiers) is boundlessly entertaining. I remember one episode where an appraiser was so moved by the beauty of a Ming Dynasty Magdog statue that he began to weep. At this moment I knew that this show had all the potential elements for a Christopher Guest mockumentary (here is an example of Christopher Guest's genius work). Where else can you find such raw human emotion anywhere else on national television? Nowhere.

You may argue that allotting millions of dollars to keep one show running is not pragmatic, but I would like to remind you of the other irreplaceable shows that PBS gives and has given us. PBS is the creator of Wishbone, the television series about a jack Russell terrier who relates the events of his master to classic works of literature. Because of Wishbone my brother passed high school English, and I felt that I possessed more knowledge about literature than my classmates. Subsequently I felt English was strength of mine. So it could be argued that my exposure to Wishbone at a young age inspired me and predisposed me towards my current path in pursuing a PhD in English literature.

How can we cut a program that grooms our future intellectuals through the assistance of a clever jack Russell terrier? Also, how else am I supposed to watch Masterpiece Theatre when PBS is the only provider? No more Downton Abbey? Can we support such injustice? These are serious questions.So please sign the following petition so we may continue enjoying the epic episodes of Antiques Roadshow.

Conspiracy Theory

2011-02-17T19:41:00.000-08:00

While a fair number of people consider Simon and Garfunkel lyrical geniuses, few hail them as the inspiration for Christopher Nolan's film "Inception." It seems that Simon and Garfunkel have been cheated out of fame for the movie's plot, despite the fact that the evidence is blatantly obvious. I stumbled upon it when listening to "Sounds of Silence." Within this song is the basic idea that drives the movie.

Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence

To give this theory a healthy dose of irony, I believe that someone played this song while Nolan slept as a child. Who planted this idea in his brain while he was sleeping? That is a discussion for another conspiracy theory blog post. Now I must go and scour the musical duos' lyrics from "Little Boy from New York" to discover the connections to Nolan's Batman trilogy.

Arcade Fire's Album of the Year

2011-02-14T16:44:00.000-08:00

"What is an Arcade Fire and why are people excited for it?"

"Album of the year goes to: Arcadia Fire, WTF are they???"

I'm tempted to attribute the above misspelling of Arcade Fire to reading too much Tom Stoppard, but I think the closely trailing WTF safely rules that out. These two comments represent the topic that is feverishly being tweeted and facebooked about: who is Arcade Fire and why do they deserve to win album of the year. For those miffed tweeters, facebookers and bloggers, let's attempt to answer the question.

From what I can gather, the root of the problem is the differing opinions about the criteria of album of the year. A girl's facebook comment succinctly illustrates one of the main reasons for outcry when she states that "anyone who wins album of the year should be known by EVERYONE". While I would like to avoid the dangerous tangent of debating the merit of award shows and review critics, I do see some problems with these complaints. I expect award shows, like the grammys, to choose artists based on musical merit and not popularity. If the award was given on popularity, Justin Beiber would have swept the awards. Now ideally popularity and merit should walk hand in hand, but often this is not the case in pop culture. If anything, I often use reviewers and award shows as a resource to find new artists; they save me some time sifting through thousands of the up and coming.

Another common compliant is that neither Eminem or Lady Gaga won. Both Eminem and Lady Gaga are great artists - I listen to them both. I think Eminem is an incredible rapper, and undoubtedly he was Arcade Fire's most menacing competition. However, Arcade Fire won this year because they have mastered an important criterion that people commonly overlook when deciding who to back for album of the year. A majority believe that album of the year equates to the largest number of best selling hits per album. Yes, this is part of it. But it also about the album as a whole: how the songs cohesively work together to create a larger work of art (i.e. the album). Arcade Fire has been experimenting with this in their previous albums, and The Suburbs represents a masterpiece where they seem to have nearly perfected it. In this album, Arcade Fire coagulates sixteen diverse songs into one fantastic symphony. That my friends, is why the unknown band, Arcade Fire, won best album of the year.

Nickled and Dimed: Coming up short

2010-11-30T22:21:00.000-08:00

*This is an embarrassing story. I should not put myself up as such an easy target for ridicule on the blogosphere, but it is too funny to pass up.*

I love the symphony/orchestra. I also love my friend Kylie. So when she told me that she was playing in University Orchestra, I knew I had to attend.

The day of the performance came and I went to buy a ticket for myself; the ticket was the loose change amount of three dollars. As I’m paying for my ticket the box office attendant tells me “your card has been declined. Do you have any other way of paying for the ticket?” I reluctantly tell her that I only have the card. I walk away empty handed and officially embarrassed.

Like any normal, self-respecting person I only use cards and the occasional check at Costco, so I had to scour my room for any kind of cash. Finally I exhumed two one-dollar bills and a dollar worth of change in nickels and dimes. As I walk towards campus with my money I turned red just thinking about how ridiculously pathetic I will look paying for a three dollar ticket in change.

I reach the Ticket Office and I place the ratty dollar bills and sprinkle the change on the counter to order my ticket. “I don’t know if we accept change” the Box Office attendant says and he quickly turns to the two or three chatting employees and asks “hey, do we accept change?” Fantastic, apparently paying in change is more pathetic than I even anticipated. Not only that, let’s alert everyone in the BYU Ticket Office that I’m paying for a three dollar ticket in change. A fellow employee answers, “we normally don’t, but if she does not mind that we cannot give any change back.” I sigh with relief - crisis averted.

But then he begins to count the money.

“You are short a nickel. Do you have one on you?” Crap. I must have miscounted. How could I miscount? I worked as a bloody cashier! I’m blushing like mad at this point, and I begin to look furiously in my bag.

Nothing.

“Hey does anyone have a nickel?” he asks the employees. Brilliant. Now I’m the Box Office charity case. And of course no one has a nickel.

I’m standing there not knowing what to do. Should I grab the money and run? He looks at me and says, “don’t worry about, we will figure something out.” I walk away almost laughing out loud with embarrassment. It was a kind gesture, but it was also the only gesture that the box office attendant could make - I was so pathetic that I basically cornered him into giving me a nickel.

The love child of John Smith and Pocahontas

2010-11-17T17:23:00.000-08:00

The other day I noticed that my brown flats, of three and a half years, were falling apart. So, I recently bought a pair of shoes as a replacement.

While breaking my shoes in, a friend commented on how they were an interesting mix of Native American and European culture.

They are the love child of John Smith and Pocahontas.

We all laughed heartily at the joke, patting ourselves on the back for being so witty and clever.

But then I realized just how much the joke revealed. Historically speaking, John Smith and Pocahontas never had a love child. There was not romance. She married John Rolfe, became a Christian, adopted the name of Rebecca Rolfe, and assimilated into English society.

So why did we all make John Smith and Pocahontas a couple?

Disney.

I love Disneyland and Disney. However, I do not appreciate their romanticized and false portrayal of early American history. I remained a disillusioned, naive, indoctrinated child for a long time because of institutions like Disney. It was not until high school and college that things were told in there more gritty reality. This incident is similar to the quixotic history of taught at schools about Christopher Columbus discovering America, and the relationship between Native Americans and the English.

I realize that history in of itself is a narrative and cannot be relied on as fact. However, there are some renderings of history that are more accurate than others. Also, I realize that Disney made a Pocahontas II in which they tried to rectify their historical mistake. But it is too late. It is like an unwritten rule that sequels never create as much revenue, are as well written, or as widely viewed by the public as the original (excluding the anomalies of Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, and Batman). In other words, Disney cannot undo the damage that has been done.

On that note, I would like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I don't know about you, but I'm thankful for adorable brown flats, Disneyland, Disney, and the wonderful songs from Pocahontas.

O.R.C.A Poetry

2010-10-28T22:32:00.000-07:00

Warning: The following may contain graphic or violent images that may be upsetting for animal lovers or followers of P.E.T.A. These views do not reflect the views of the author of this blog. These ideas are the rant against writing a academic grant proposal entitled O.R.C.A. Whales were not intended to be hurt in the process of the making of this poem, but unfortunately the name too closely resembled the grant's name - whales became collateral damage in a bitter diatribe against the grueling task of writing a proposal.

O.R.C.A. Blood

Kill the freakin whales

Harpoon them

Use their blubber to fuel industry

Destroy every copy of Free Willy

Put Shamu in a 9x10 tank

And buy hundreds of tickets to see him

fueling the industry that traps these wild animals into captivity

"There she blows!"

See capitalism reap and Marx weep

Tears that may be similar to his twin Fredrick Douglas

See me weep

I swim and jump through hoops

to the whistle of my trainer

to be rewarded with a fish

"My mother was a fish"

Well I'll Northrop FRYE that Stanley FISH

bite the hand that feeds

my academic needs

Cormac McCarthy Diary: Waiting for Chigurh

2010-10-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

"The boat is going to Texas. Only now is the child finally divested of all that he has been. His origins are become remote as in his destiny and not again to all the world's turning will there be terrains so wild and barbarian so try whether the stuff of creation may be shaped to man's will or whether his own heart is not another kind of clay" (Blood Meridian 4).

While reading this passage I too was going to Texas. While I was not going to join Judge Holden's gang, I was going to discuss it. Last week I flew into Austin, Texas to attend and present at the Cormac McCarthy Society Conference in San Marcos with two BYU professors and three fellow undergraduates.

Shortly after our arrival into Austin we went to the cheaper option motel rooms that we reserved. However, the frugal decision actually enhanced the trip, because upon arrival to our motel we all looked at each other with the same thought: this is just like No Country For Old Men.

"Chigurh drove slowly along the row of the motel rooms with his window down and the receiver in his lap....He left the office with the key in his shirtpocket and got into the Ramcharger and drove around to the side of the building and parked and got out and walked down to the room carrying the bag with the receiver and the guns in it" (No Country for Old Men 102-3).

As I relayed the scene in my mind, it's no suprise that this is the first thing Ruth and I did when we entered the motel room:

Good night. Let's hope Chigurh does not pay us a visit.

Eat Your Heart Out Persephone

2010-10-25T21:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend, my roommate Becky brought home dozens of pomegranates from her family tree in Las Vegas. We've been devouring them ever since. I must admit that up until this week I have only eaten a few pomegranates and those were eaten within the past year or so. I think the reason for my belated tasting is that my mother shrewdly saw the lethal combination of unforgiving pomegranate juice and messy children.

Pineapples you have to cut, bananas you peel, kiwis you scoop out, cherries you spit out the seed, and Pomegranates you pick at. Eating a pomegranate is like exploring a M.C. Eshcer lithograph.

Whatever way you eat your pomegranate, it is my new goal in life to recreate this painting:

Perhaps a little less masculine though.

Welcome Back Autumn

2010-10-13T21:45:00.000-07:00

Hay is a symbol of Autumn: hay rides and hay bales lining pumpkin patches.

While at home this summer, I watched the annual ritual of transforming chest high fields of grass into heavy compact bales of hay, cinnamon rolls and marshmallows.

The cinnamon roll

I find something aesthetically beautiful about these coarse, hay cinnamon rolls.

I had to have pictures of these cinnamon rolls so I drove around in my car snapping pictures with my phone. I didn't dare get out of the car - I was afraid that the farmers might call the cops on a girl tromping through their fields with a camera.

The marshmallow

I remember when my dad woke me and my little brother in the middle of the night to drive to a neighboring field so we could examine these strange looking marshmallows. Our dad told us that these were the props for an upcoming X-Files that they were filming in our home town.

I'm the most gullible person in the world - so of course I believed him. But in my defense I was groggy, young and they were strange enough looking in the moonlight to be featured in an episode of X-Files.

Welcome back Autumn.

Musical Coupling

2010-10-09T09:15:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I found out that one of my favorite music artists is dating another favorite comedian/singer/actor:

Joanna Newsom and Andy Samberg

Can you imagine of a more interesting musical duo?

Just think about it: the man that performed the comical Iran So Far, is dating the compositional genius that wrote 81'.

I wonder if two eccentric and talented people may have a functional and normal relationship.

Either way, the thought of this musical coupling makes me bemusedly happy - something is right in the world.

Garden Party

2010-09-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

shower, n. An abundance of gifts of a similar kind presented by guests at a party to celebrate esp. a wedding or purpose. 1904 Grand Rapids Even. Press 22 June 4 the 'shower parties' that through mistaken hospitality the wedded couple are forced to attend.

These hydrangeas and sprigs of mint are from our garden.

There are several elements of Bridal showers that I dislike.

When I decided to throw a shower for my dear friend Katie, I vowed to avoid those unpleasant elements of traditional bridal showers. To begin with, on the invitations I referred to this party as a "garden party" instead of a "shower" because I find the term "shower" to be somewhat cheesy.

My other objection to "showers" are the mandatory games. This includes the ever so fun activity of creating a wedding dress out of toilet paper.

At Katie's garden party, we ate delicious food instead of draping toilet paper over people.

Martha Stewart cake recipe: angel food cake sandwich with several layers of sorbets, jam and ice cream. I'm sure Martha would describe it a lot more elegantly than I just did, but who can keep up with Martha?

Then there is that one person who decides to make everything awkward by gifting some lewd, tawdry piece of lingerie.

At Katie's shower she received practical and beautiful gifts to put in her kitchen.

Overall, it was a successful garden party - just look at all the genuinely happy people below.

2010-07-01T16:35:00.000-07:00

If I could live in the world that an artist created, it would be Van Gogh.

Mac or PC

2010-06-21T10:21:00.001-07:00

For some people the answer to an either/or question may strengthen or break a friendship.

For example: Mac or PC?

I have a dear friend who informed me that all her friends are Mac people and that I should count myself lucky because she was going to overlook the fact that I owned a PC. While she was partly joking, she was also serious. Over the years I've been weary of Mac computers because the majority of Mac supporters I've run into are dogmatic and confrontational about their choice of computer. I've also been weary because of the stereotypical Mac user (i.e. Parker Posey's character in Best in Show): Yuppie from Illinois who frequents Starbucks with her Mac, L.L. Bean and J Crew catalogue.

I'm glad to report that I've overcome all these obstacles - after my Dell computer died from a nasty virus, I saved up my money to purchase a Macbook Pro. So a few days ago I officially become a proud owner of a Mac.I'm sure that all my friends who own Mac will congratulate me for my purchase. While they may congratulate me, they will not recruit me to join in the debates or door to door Mac campaign.

Road Trip to the Northwest

2010-05-03T17:35:00.001-07:00

Willamette River in Portland
Starting Point: Provo, Utah
Destination: Portland, Oregon

Final Destination: Enumclaw, Washington

Distance Traveled: 979 miles

Traveling Time: 16 hours

About a week ago, me and three other people piled into my Pontiac Vibe for a road trip to explore the Pacific Northwest. The four of us did not really know one another - some of us were not even friends on facebook - but we shared one thing in common: we all like hippies, rain, green landscape and eco-friendly communities. We didn't have plans before we left, but a unintentional parallelism emerged as we did similar activities in both Seattle and Portland: exploring open air markets, used bookstores and hiking up waterfalls.

Modern Art Outside of Powell's Bookstore

In Portland we went to the Saturday farmers market which included a colorful crowd. We watched break dancers, listened to street musicians, and browsed the work of local artists.

Powell's bookstore is known as one of the largest used bookstores in the United States. All of us went to our own area of interest (philosophy, economics, and pop culture) and perused. I have to say that I was disappointed by the prices at Powells in comparison with the used bookstore I visited a few months ago in New York. However, I had a friend who went to Powells a few days and found the complete works of Shakespeare for thirty dollars, so apparently there are deals to be found.

While the sun was setting, we climbed Multnomah Falls. The water at Multnomah Falls cascades 620 feet, which makes it the second-highest waterfall in the United States. One of the most beautiful parts about visiting the falls was climbing up to the top and looking out over the Columbia River Gorge.

While in Seattle we visited another open air market: Pike's Place Market. While at Pikes Place we bought bouquets of tulips, sampled food, and watched men in orange jumpsuits throw salmon to one another. We also walked through the Seattle Art Museums outdoor sculpture garden and along the pier in the rain. For dinner we had Indian food at Roti, a brilliant Indian restaurant in Queen Anne, and cupcakes at Cupcake Royale in Ballard. With full stomachs, we went to a small lookout point in Queen Anne to see the city at night.

Because we hiked a waterfall in Oregon, we obviously needed to hike one in Washington too. We set our sights on Snoqualmie Falls, which is not as tall as Multnomah, but it was still spectacular.

Sadly our road trips came to an end as my three comrades flew back to Provo.

Overall...huzzah for road trips.

I Am The Walrus

2010-03-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

I told a friend that was editing my paper how concerned I was about having a "sexy" idea because a professor of mine always stressed having a "sexy" or "hot" element of in your scholarly work. The only theory in this particular piece incorporated ideas from Nietzsche's The Genealogy of Morals. She replied that the paper already had the sexy element because "Nietzsche is sexy."

This reminded me of another conversation I had with a friend. In this conversation he told me about a dream he had about Nietzsche and some other theorist. I interrupted him asking " did Nietzsche have his brilliant mustache in the dream?" He then teased me of fancying Nietzsche and of course I protested but he replied, "no you dream about making out with Nietzsche with 'I am the walrus' playing in the background.' "

He's right. It is my ultimate fantasy to make out with Nietzsche. But don't worry, I would not let things get out of control - I need to protect myself from contracting syphilis.

So imagine making out with this foxy philosopher with "I am the walrus" playing in the background.
If that does not turn you on, I don't know what will.

Latte Bowls

2010-03-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

Dave from Hot Rod: You know, pools are perfect for holding water...

Musing Elitist: You know, latte bowls are perfect for holding crème brulée...

These are my new bowls that I bought the other day. Please note that even my dishes are as elitist as I am: they are not just bowls - they are latte bowls.

Typography

2010-03-10T19:41:00.000-08:00

Today's blog post is inspired by my visit to the HBLL's Special Collections. At Special Collections, I handled a first edition King James Bible (1611) and a contemporary Geneva Bible. Seeing these books up close, I observed some of the interesting differences in layout and type. The original KJV uses the traditional Gothic type for the scriptural text and the more modern roman type for the summary and insertions. At the beginning of each chapter the first letter is highly decorated - reminiscent of illuminated manuscripts. This mix of the Gothic, roman and illumination style creates a hybrid of the modern and traditional type, which reflects the moderate position of the Anglican religion itself (between Protestant and Catholic). The Geneva on the other hand is half gloss and scriptural text on each page. It reminds me of a Hebrew Bible which includes all the commentary of Rabbis (e.g. Maimonides). This activity today reminded me of the importance of typography in literature - I could grasp a great deal about these different books by simply observing the type and layout of the page.

For a more modern and fun application of typography, my good friend Becky introduced me to the work of Jessica Hirsche. Her website is my new found love and a brilliant distraction from my homework. One of her most fun ideas is that she designs a daily letter. Here are some examples below:

The 2010 Oscars

2010-03-08T21:32:00.000-08:00

The Academy Awards are my Superbowl. For as long as I can remember, I've looked forward to the month of March because it is the month of the Oscars. I even found a way to watch the Academy Awards two years ago while living in the Middle East - that was the year that No Country For Old Men won best picture. I can't explain why I adore the Oscars so much, but I'm going to have a go at it:

It's an award show for movies - I love movies almost as much as literature

Comedic hosts

In Memoriam - listening to James Taylor while remembering those that died this year and made so many contributions to film (e.g. Jean Simmons). They also put together a small tribute to John Hughes. John Hughes made the 80's.

Lifetime Achievement Awards

Fashion

Montages to Film - last night's homage to horror was particularly interesting

Realizing during acceptance speeches that there is a reason some people work behind the camera and not in front of it.

Honoring brilliant performances and artistic talent

New York: Part Two

2010-02-16T17:08:00.000-08:00

I walked into Saks Fifth Avenue store just to peruse and see how the "other half" live. While I love looking at beautiful designer clothes, I feel uncomfortable when a shirt that is 75% off is still a thousand dollars.I felt like an imposter and that everyone there knew I didn't belong. So I made a quick exit before they threw me out for wearing boots that did not cost over a grand.

For lunch, I quenched my two year craving from authentic falafels. We went to Taim Falafel and Smoothie Bar which is located on Waverly Place. My only complaint is that they do not put fries in the falafels, but it's an easy fix - you just stuff their fries -rated in the top twenty for fries in New York - into the falafel in between bites.

Then we used the subway to get to East-Village to explore the famous Strand Bookstore established in 1927. One of my favorite things to do is to explore used/antique bookstores. From the extensive collection of books I bought a used copy of The English Patient, My Antonia and a compilation of essays by one of my favorite theorists: Walter Benjamin.

We drove by Columbia's campus and saw the dinner that Jerry Seinfeld and his friends always eat at. We did not eat there - word on the street is that it is awful food - so we went to Miss Mamie's. This restaurant sits on the cusp between Columbia University and Harlem and it serves famous fried chicken, red velvet cake and macaroni and cheese.

The next day the girls went on a tour through the Tenement Museum. This museum takes tours through a building that was a tenement house from the 1870's to the 1930's. The museum offers several tours in which it focuses on specific families that actually lived there and they display the rooms according to how the family lived. We learned about a German immigrant family that lived in the tenement in the 1870's and were ostracized because of the Nativism that arose during the Great Panic. The guide poignantly observed that one of the ancestors of this German family died in 9/11 - an event that launched another wave of Nativism and prejudice against immigrants.

For lunch we had some amazing Butter Lane cupcakes. They pair their chocolate and white dense cupcakes with flavorful frosting. Their frosting is so amazing they offer "frosting shots". My favorite cupcake was the strawberry - the frosting tasted like a strawberry smoothie.

For our last activity we went to the Museum of Modern Art. I saw a lot of art pieces that I've studied over the years: Henri Matisse Red Room and Dance (I), Georges Braque Man with a Guitar, Pablo Picasso Les Demoiselles d'Avignon and Salvador Dali The Persistence of Memory. Here are the highlights of the museum for me:

Van Gogh

The Starry Night

At the Muse d'Orsay a few years ago this painting was on tour and I was not a happy camper. So, it was brilliant and unexpected to see this painting at the MoMA.

Mark Rothko

No. 3/No. 13

Marc Chagall

I and the Village

Piet Mondrian

Trafalgar Square

I found Mondrain's conceptual work especially intriguing because of a conference paper I'm working on that deals with space and boundaries. Also, in my Creative Writing class we talked about line in poetry and for my assignment I wrote a poem about line. So I had a lot of fun looking and thinking about this piece. Also it's title is Trafalgar Square...which reminds me of London...and I love London.

Constantin Brancusi

The Cock

Blond Negress, II

Bird in Space

Young Bird

Endless Column

Gustav Klimt

Hope, II

New York: Part One

2010-02-12T20:27:00.000-08:00

To start of my experience of New York, my sister Rebekah – who lives in the Bronx with her husband – took us to dinner at a Venezuelan restaurant called Caracas. In true Venezuelan fashion it is complete with spanish music and shelves of Mary icons. My favorite dish included fried plantains, a mayo guacamole sauce and topped with shredded white salty cheese.

Today at the Metropolitan Museum my parents experienced the ancient worlds of Egypt and Mesopotamia while I toured the European Art Exhibit. I picked the highlights for me below:

Van Gogh, "Women Picking Olives"

Pieter Bruegel the Elder, "The Harvesters"

Vermeer, "Girl with the Water Pitcher"
Dutch Baroque

Nicolaes Maes, "Girl Peeling Apples"
Dutch Baroque

El Greco, "View of Toledo"

Spanish Renaissance

Picasso, "The Blind Man's Meal"
Blue Period

To perform our duty as tourists admirably, we snapped a picture at Rockefeller Center. (I must confess, I expected the skating rink to be much larger.) Then we walked to the neighboring NBC store to buy some amazing t-shirts. My favorite t-shirts included “No Soup for You!” and a picture of Christopher Walkin with the phrase “I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell”. I bought a t-shirt that says “Trust me [picture of David Tennant] I’m the Doctor” and Andrew bought a Laser Cat’s T-shirt.

For dinner we went to West Village to one of Martha Stewart’s favorite restaurants: Market Table. Martha likes this restaurant for a reason – it’s brilliant. I ordered a steak wrapped in bacon and accompanied with mushroom and deep-fried feta balls. Then, we quickly left to a showing of West Side Story. Now I will be singing “Tonight, tonight…” and “Maria” for the next few weeks.

Child of God Prank

2010-01-25T23:27:00.000-08:00

This prank idea came to me during my Cormac McCarthy class this past Friday. I just finished reading one of McCarthy's earlier Appalachian novels: Child of God. Although the title of the novel is familiar with a Christian audience, this novel does not necessarily belong with the born-again Christian literature for teens; the novel is about a social outcast that devolves into a necrophiliac. It's taboo to say the least. This prank arose from the juxtaposition of a cliche title for a religious book and the subject matter of the novel. So here is the plan of attack:

Step One: Buy a copy of Child of God.

Step Two: Slightly change the language of the synopsis on the back of the book to delude unsuspecting targets. For example, I would change "falsely accused of rape" with "falsely accused of stealing candy."

Step Two: Carefully place the novel in the religion section of a bookstore

Step Three: Corrupt sweet little old ladies in floor-length skirts or grandpas wearing Mr. Rodger sweaters to buy the novel.

The more I thought about this prank, the more I realized that the word "corrupt" does not fit because I'm not corrupting them. For me, this brilliant novel ironically appeals Christian audiences as it pushes us to identify with an "other" that seems irredeemable.

Scholarly Stalking

2009-12-21T23:52:00.000-08:00

My scholarly stalking began about two months ago while looking at literary journals in my areas of interest: Renaissance and British Modernism. In one of the Shakespeare journals, I perused reviews of Shakespeare productions for the season - more specifically the RSC’s production of Hamlet starring David Tennant. I wanted to see how my crush, David Tennant, fared at the hands of the literary elite. This marks a new development in stalking resources, at least for me, by utilizing scholarly journals to creep on attractive Scottish actors.
Well my tastes have developed since this original outing – I’ve matured in my creepiness. Now I’m stalking scholars for their ideas and not handsome British actors for superficial reasons (e.g. attractiveness). But sometimes these two worlds collide. For example, while looking at the current projects of English professors at the University of Chicago, I found an extremely handsome professor. Alas, our passions in literature do not collide in a beautifully serendipitous way.

So if you are a creeper, which everyone in this technologically advanced age is, do not overlook the more erudite methods. Check out those scholarly journals and perhaps stalk a few scholars while you’re at it. In other words, if you're going to stalk do it intelligently.