Losing My Dignity and Modesty

My two roommates are currently in a prank war. I suffered the following because of said "prank war".

Prank One

It’s two in the morning and I’m taking a shower when the lights go off. I blindly reach for my towel and wrap it around me as I yell out into the hallway “Cari, I think the power is off”. My roommate Cari –who just watched a horror film and subsequently seems more unnerved than normal - anxiously told me to go with her downstairs to our fuse box. Despite being my towel, I join my friend as I walk with my hands outstretched into the black. (It was a rather bold request for Cari to make considering that if there was a creepy man waiting in the dark he could easily rape). We finally find a flashlight and make our way down to the fuse box and turn off everything and turn it back on again. Nothing. We stand in the darkness. Eventually we worriedly trudge upstairs and I suggest that we look in corners and closets for a lurking sociopath. Cari’s not amused. Reaching our third floor I ask Cari to hold the flashlight as I dress - just as I’m completely in the nude all of the lights come on to reveal me in my naked glory. Here’s the rub: it’s not naked glory. I mean I’m not embarrassed that Cari saw me naked – I couldn't care less – I’m just embarrassed that she saw me in the bad naked; an unattractive naked. If she is going to see me naked I want her to literally see my best side. It’s like that Seinfeld episode when Jerry’s girlfriend does everything in the nude and he discovers the difference between good and bad naked. Bad naked equals Jerry’s girlfriend opening a pickle jar or Hillary getting dressed in the dark.

Prank Two

I come home Sunday afternoon and I’m going to the bathroom as I realize that something does not smell right. I look to the side of me and I see the shower door closed - it’s never closed. Something’s amiss. Becoming suspicious, I look underneath me and staring up at me is a dead fish the size of a serving platter. I cringe at the black-beady eyes that pierce and shatter all rational thought. I then open the shower door to reveal two dead fish swimming in bloody water. Did I scream? Of course not. Did I yell at my roommates responsible for this prank? Yes.

For someone who did not agree to this prank war, I receive the brunt of these crimes. And most of these crimes seem to target my dignity and modesty.