Happy Birthday Shakespeare
To celebrate the bard's birthday, I suggest you use an insult today penned by the love of my life.
"Thou smell of mountain goat"
"Scratching could not make it worse...such a face as yours"
"Bolting-hutch of beastliness"
"I was searching for a fool when I found you"
"Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes"
"Cream faced loon"
"Thou crusty batch of nature"
"There is not ugly a friend of hell as thou shalt be"
"The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes"
"Thine face is not worth sunburning"
"You are a candle, the better burnt out"
The opening one hurts my ear. It is not at all what Shakespeare wrote, and even includes a grammatical blunder.
ReplyDeleteThe original line is from Shakespeare's Henry V, Act iv, scene iv. However, the form has been mangled in popular usage. The full, original line (spoken by the comic character, Pistol) is given below. Note that the verb "smell" does not appear, nor is the notion of odor even in view. And, were the verb used, the proper form would have been "(thou) smellest".
Brass, cur!
Thou damned and luxurious** mountain goat,
Offer’st me brass?
**here having the archaic meaning: "lewd, lascivious"the archaic meaning: "lewd, lascivious"