Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Re-Kindling Elementary School Love

Text from Mother:
Happy Valentine's Day. We love you. XoXo
Are you still waiting for a card form Stevie H----?

Text from Sister:
Greg wants to know if you and Stevie H--- ever kissed.

Who is Stevie H---? That's an excellent question. To be quite honest, I can't really remember what the kid even looked like, but his name has plagued me since the first grade. I'm not quite sure how my older brother Tyson discovered Stevie H---'s name; he was just a boy in my first grade class. Nevertheless, Tyson found a name of a boy and mercilessly teased me that I secretly loved Stevie H---. My mom still reminds me that I should not scream or get mad when Tyson teases, pokes, punches, etc. me because that is the reaction he wants: "He likes to hear you scream."So how did I react? Well I was a first grader. Boys were icky, and such accusations affronted my first grader self: I DID NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON STEVIE H---! So, of course I screamed, cried and got angry when he sang "Hillary and Stevie sitting in a tree..." Suffice to say, I'm emotionally scarred; I am never naming my child Stevie.

Want to know the sad thing? Tyson would revive the teasing every few years, and I would still get mad. But I'm happy to say that when I got these texts today, I laughed for the first time. Not only did I laugh, but I decided to figure out who this mystery lover was.  I think he moved away shortly after first grade, so I was not optimistic about unveiling his identity. Nope, I found him on on facebook. Yes, I stalked my former, fake elementary lover. Let's just say that looking at his facebook makes me sure I didn't have a crush on him. Or did I?

Happy Valentine's Day!


  1. Hahahahahhhaahha. STEVIE H????????

  2. THIS is my favorite post of yours. miss you!