If I could live in the world that an artist created, it would be Van Gogh.

Mac or PC

For some people the answer to an either/or question may strengthen or break a friendship.

For example: Mac or PC?

I have a dear friend who informed me that all her friends are Mac people and that I should count myself lucky because she was going to overlook the fact that I owned a PC. While she was partly joking, she was also serious. Over the years I've been weary of Mac computers because the majority of Mac supporters I've run into are dogmatic and confrontational about their choice of computer. I've also been weary because of the stereotypical Mac user (i.e. Parker Posey's character in Best in Show): Yuppie from Illinois who frequents Starbucks with her Mac, L.L. Bean and J Crew catalogue.

I'm glad to report that I've overcome all these obstacles - after my Dell computer died from a nasty virus, I saved up my money to purchase a Macbook Pro. So a few days ago I officially become a proud owner of a Mac.I'm sure that all my friends who own Mac will congratulate me for my purchase. While they may congratulate me, they will not recruit me to join in the debates or door to door Mac campaign.

Road Trip to the Northwest

Willamette River in Portland
Starting Point: Provo, Utah
Destination: Portland, Oregon

Final Destination: Enumclaw, Washington

Distance Traveled: 979 miles

Traveling Time: 16 hours

About a week ago, me and three other people piled into my Pontiac Vibe for a road trip to explore the Pacific Northwest. The four of us did not really know one another - some of us were not even friends on facebook - but we shared one thing in common: we all like hippies, rain, green landscape and eco-friendly communities. We didn't have plans before we left, but a unintentional parallelism emerged as we did similar activities in both Seattle and Portland: exploring open air markets, used bookstores and hiking up waterfalls.

Modern Art Outside of Powell's Bookstore


In Portland we went to the Saturday farmers market which included a colorful crowd. We watched break dancers, listened to street musicians, and browsed the work of local artists.

Powell's bookstore is known as one of the largest used bookstores in the United States. All of us went to our own area of interest (philosophy, economics, and pop culture) and perused. I have to say that I was disappointed by the prices at Powells in comparison with the used bookstore I visited a few months ago in New York. However, I had a friend who went to Powells a few days and found the complete works of Shakespeare for thirty dollars, so apparently there are deals to be found.

While the sun was setting, we climbed Multnomah Falls. The water at Multnomah Falls cascades 620 feet, which makes it the second-highest waterfall in the United States. One of the most beautiful parts about visiting the falls was climbing up to the top and looking out over the Columbia River Gorge.

While in Seattle we visited another open air market: Pike's Place Market. While at Pikes Place we bought bouquets of tulips, sampled food, and watched men in orange jumpsuits throw salmon to one another. We also walked through the Seattle Art Museums outdoor sculpture garden and along the pier in the rain. For dinner we had Indian food at Roti, a brilliant Indian restaurant in Queen Anne, and cupcakes at Cupcake Royale in Ballard. With full stomachs, we went to a small lookout point in Queen Anne to see the city at night.

Because we hiked a waterfall in Oregon, we obviously needed to hike one in Washington too. We set our sights on Snoqualmie Falls, which is not as tall as Multnomah, but it was still spectacular.

Sadly our road trips came to an end as my three comrades flew back to Provo.

Overall...huzzah for road trips.

I Am The Walrus

I told a friend that was editing my paper how concerned I was about having a "sexy" idea because a professor of mine always stressed having a "sexy" or "hot" element of in your scholarly work. The only theory in this particular piece incorporated ideas from Nietzsche's The Genealogy of Morals. She replied that the paper already had the sexy element because "Nietzsche is sexy."

This reminded me of another conversation I had with a friend. In this conversation he told me about a dream he had about Nietzsche and some other theorist. I interrupted him asking " did Nietzsche have his brilliant mustache in the dream?" He then teased me of fancying Nietzsche and of course I protested but he replied, "no you dream about making out with Nietzsche with 'I am the walrus' playing in the background.' "

He's right. It is my ultimate fantasy to make out with Nietzsche. But don't worry, I would not let things get out of control - I need to protect myself from contracting syphilis.

So imagine making out with this foxy philosopher with "I am the walrus" playing in the background.
If that does not turn you on, I don't know what will.

Latte Bowls

Dave from Hot Rod: You know, pools are perfect for holding water...

Musing Elitist: You know, latte bowls are perfect for holding crème brulée...

These are my new bowls that I bought the other day. Please note that even my dishes are as elitist as I am: they are not just bowls - they are latte bowls.

Typography

Today's blog post is inspired by my visit to the HBLL's Special Collections. At Special Collections, I handled a first edition King James Bible (1611) and a contemporary Geneva Bible. Seeing these books up close, I observed some of the interesting differences in layout and type. The original KJV uses the traditional Gothic type for the scriptural text and the more modern roman type for the summary and insertions. At the beginning of each chapter the first letter is highly decorated - reminiscent of illuminated manuscripts. This mix of the Gothic, roman and illumination style creates a hybrid of the modern and traditional type, which reflects the moderate position of the Anglican religion itself (between Protestant and Catholic). The Geneva on the other hand is half gloss and scriptural text on each page. It reminds me of a Hebrew Bible which includes all the commentary of Rabbis (e.g. Maimonides). This activity today reminded me of the importance of typography in literature - I could grasp a great deal about these different books by simply observing the type and layout of the page.

For a more modern and fun application of typography, my good friend Becky introduced me to the work of Jessica Hirsche. Her website is my new found love and a brilliant distraction from my homework. One of her most fun ideas is that she designs a daily letter. Here are some examples below:

The 2010 Oscars

The Academy Awards are my Superbowl. For as long as I can remember, I've looked forward to the month of March because it is the month of the Oscars. I even found a way to watch the Academy Awards two years ago while living in the Middle East - that was the year that No Country For Old Men won best picture. I can't explain why I adore the Oscars so much, but I'm going to have a go at it:

It's an award show for movies - I love movies almost as much as literature

Comedic hosts

In Memoriam - listening to James Taylor while remembering those that died this year and made so many contributions to film (e.g. Jean Simmons). They also put together a small tribute to John Hughes. John Hughes made the 80's.

Lifetime Achievement Awards

Fashion

Montages to Film - last night's homage to horror was particularly interesting

Realizing during acceptance speeches that there is a reason some people work behind the camera and not in front of it.

Honoring brilliant performances and artistic talent

New York: Part Two

I walked into Saks Fifth Avenue store just to peruse and see how the "other half" live. While I love looking at beautiful designer clothes, I feel uncomfortable when a shirt that is 75% off is still a thousand dollars.I felt like an imposter and that everyone there knew I didn't belong. So I made a quick exit before they threw me out for wearing boots that did not cost over a grand.

For lunch, I quenched my two year craving from authentic falafels. We went to Taim Falafel and Smoothie Bar which is located on Waverly Place. My only complaint is that they do not put fries in the falafels, but it's an easy fix - you just stuff their fries -rated in the top twenty for fries in New York - into the falafel in between bites.

Then we used the subway to get to East-Village to explore the famous Strand Bookstore established in 1927. One of my favorite things to do is to explore used/antique bookstores. From the extensive collection of books I bought a used copy of The English Patient, My Antonia and a compilation of essays by one of my favorite theorists: Walter Benjamin.

We drove by Columbia's campus and saw the dinner that Jerry Seinfeld and his friends always eat at. We did not eat there - word on the street is that it is awful food - so we went to Miss Mamie's. This restaurant sits on the cusp between Columbia University and Harlem and it serves famous fried chicken, red velvet cake and macaroni and cheese.

The next day the girls went on a tour through the Tenement Museum. This museum takes tours through a building that was a tenement house from the 1870's to the 1930's. The museum offers several tours in which it focuses on specific families that actually lived there and they display the rooms according to how the family lived. We learned about a German immigrant family that lived in the tenement in the 1870's and were ostracized because of the Nativism that arose during the Great Panic. The guide poignantly observed that one of the ancestors of this German family died in 9/11 - an event that launched another wave of Nativism and prejudice against immigrants.

For lunch we had some amazing Butter Lane cupcakes. They pair their chocolate and white dense cupcakes with flavorful frosting. Their frosting is so amazing they offer "frosting shots". My favorite cupcake was the strawberry - the frosting tasted like a strawberry smoothie.

For our last activity we went to the Museum of Modern Art. I saw a lot of art pieces that I've studied over the years: Henri Matisse Red Room and Dance (I), Georges Braque Man with a Guitar, Pablo Picasso Les Demoiselles d'Avignon and Salvador Dali The Persistence of Memory. Here are the highlights of the museum for me:

Van Gogh

The Starry Night

At the Muse d'Orsay a few years ago this painting was on tour and I was not a happy camper. So, it was brilliant and unexpected to see this painting at the MoMA.

Mark Rothko

No. 3/No. 13

Marc Chagall

I and the Village

Piet Mondrian

Trafalgar Square

I found Mondrain's conceptual work especially intriguing because of a conference paper I'm working on that deals with space and boundaries. Also, in my Creative Writing class we talked about line in poetry and for my assignment I wrote a poem about line. So I had a lot of fun looking and thinking about this piece. Also it's title is Trafalgar Square...which reminds me of London...and I love London.

Constantin Brancusi

The Cock

Blond Negress, II

Bird in Space

Young Bird

Endless Column

Gustav Klimt

Hope, II

New York: Part One

To start of my experience of New York, my sister Rebekah – who lives in the Bronx with her husband – took us to dinner at a Venezuelan restaurant called Caracas. In true Venezuelan fashion it is complete with spanish music and shelves of Mary icons. My favorite dish included fried plantains, a mayo guacamole sauce and topped with shredded white salty cheese.

Today at the Metropolitan Museum my parents experienced the ancient worlds of Egypt and Mesopotamia while I toured the European Art Exhibit. I picked the highlights for me below:

Van Gogh, "Women Picking Olives"

Pieter Bruegel the Elder, "The Harvesters"

Vermeer, "Girl with the Water Pitcher"
Dutch Baroque

Nicolaes Maes, "Girl Peeling Apples"
Dutch Baroque

El Greco, "View of Toledo"

Spanish Renaissance

Picasso, "The Blind Man's Meal"
Blue Period

To perform our duty as tourists admirably, we snapped a picture at Rockefeller Center. (I must confess, I expected the skating rink to be much larger.) Then we walked to the neighboring NBC store to buy some amazing t-shirts. My favorite t-shirts included “No Soup for You!” and a picture of Christopher Walkin with the phrase “I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell”. I bought a t-shirt that says “Trust me [picture of David Tennant] I’m the Doctor” and Andrew bought a Laser Cat’s T-shirt.

For dinner we went to West Village to one of Martha Stewart’s favorite restaurants: Market Table. Martha likes this restaurant for a reason – it’s brilliant. I ordered a steak wrapped in bacon and accompanied with mushroom and deep-fried feta balls. Then, we quickly left to a showing of West Side Story. Now I will be singing “Tonight, tonight…” and “Maria” for the next few weeks.

Child of God Prank

This prank idea came to me during my Cormac McCarthy class this past Friday. I just finished reading one of McCarthy's earlier Appalachian novels: Child of God. Although the title of the novel is familiar with a Christian audience, this novel does not necessarily belong with the born-again Christian literature for teens; the novel is about a social outcast that devolves into a necrophiliac. It's taboo to say the least. This prank arose from the juxtaposition of a cliche title for a religious book and the subject matter of the novel. So here is the plan of attack:

Step One: Buy a copy of Child of God.

Step Two: Slightly change the language of the synopsis on the back of the book to delude unsuspecting targets. For example, I would change "falsely accused of rape" with "falsely accused of stealing candy."

Step Two: Carefully place the novel in the religion section of a bookstore

Step Three: Corrupt sweet little old ladies in floor-length skirts or grandpas wearing Mr. Rodger sweaters to buy the novel.

The more I thought about this prank, the more I realized that the word "corrupt" does not fit because I'm not corrupting them. For me, this brilliant novel ironically appeals Christian audiences as it pushes us to identify with an "other" that seems irredeemable.

Scholarly Stalking

My scholarly stalking began about two months ago while looking at literary journals in my areas of interest: Renaissance and British Modernism. In one of the Shakespeare journals, I perused reviews of Shakespeare productions for the season - more specifically the RSC’s production of Hamlet starring David Tennant. I wanted to see how my crush, David Tennant, fared at the hands of the literary elite. This marks a new development in stalking resources, at least for me, by utilizing scholarly journals to creep on attractive Scottish actors.
Well my tastes have developed since this original outing – I’ve matured in my creepiness. Now I’m stalking scholars for their ideas and not handsome British actors for superficial reasons (e.g. attractiveness). But sometimes these two worlds collide. For example, while looking at the current projects of English professors at the University of Chicago, I found an extremely handsome professor. Alas, our passions in literature do not collide in a beautifully serendipitous way.

So if you are a creeper, which everyone in this technologically advanced age is, do not overlook the more erudite methods. Check out those scholarly journals and perhaps stalk a few scholars while you’re at it. In other words, if you're going to stalk do it intelligently.

A Room of One's Own

Brigham Young University wishes to keep their decision to close the Women's Research Institute quiet, but I intend to make an obnoxious amount of noise. The dean of Family Home and Social Science claims that other institutions on campus provide enough support for women. I strongly disagree. The WRI, instituted in 1978, conducts research that institutions around the world use: data on pornography, drug trafficking, eating disorders and other issues relating to women. Brigham Young University's decision to shut down the WRI places the church in a publicly precarious position as well as leaves many students ignorant about the importance of women’s issues. I'm tired of "feminism" being a four letter word on this campus, and this institution works directly against such bigotry and ignorance. In protest of this decision, I ask you, reader, to reply to newspaper articles published by the Salt Lake Tribune and to sign the petition below.

http://supportwri.blogspot.com/

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_13713945?IADID=Search-www.sltrib.com-www.sltrib.com

I would like to share an experience which soberly reminds me of the past oppression of women and subsequently inspires me to fight against such prejudice.My current position in society as a woman seems distant from the narrator’s in A Room of One’s Own. But Roaming around Oxford’s campus the Gothic architecture of Magdalene College’s displayed its archaic origin and subsequently the constant flow of money required to construct the beautiful building. Yet, the brilliant buildings, libraries, technology and blooming grounds were only available to men during Virginia Woolf’s time. I walked further from campus searching for a place where women could congregate during the early twentieth century. I set my sights on a lesser known women’s college: Somerville. Unable to direct myself around the large campus I sought help from an Oxford student who located the college on a map. He explained that all women’s colleges required a lengthy trek outside of central campus and honestly recommend skipping the visit to a women’s college. Looking back, I understand why the student attempted to dissuade me from visiting comparatively uninteresting women’s college.

The juxtaposition of Somerville’s atmosphere, architecture and location to Magdalene College personally revealed to me the alienation women felt during the early twentieth century. Somerville resided far from central campus and so I quickly walked down streets distancing myself from the noise of Magdalene College and its prestigious aura. Oxford built Somerville during the late nineteenth century and the only land available was located far from campus. Like the journey of Virginia Woolf’s character to Fernham in A Room of One's Own, I walked along “a road – I forget its name” the unimportance of the road signified the inferiority of the college itself. (Woolf 13) Finally I arrived at Somerville’s cramped and yellowed office. I asked the stunned office workers if I could walk around the college; Somerville did not receive visitors often. Unlike Magdalene, Somerville’s the courtyard sounded unnaturally quiet. The untidy gardens and flowers coupled with the severe and outdated architecture created an atmosphere of neglect. At this moment the day’s events combined and I understood Woolf’s narrative.

I left Somerville and walked back to campus and visit Christ’s Church Cathedral. I listened to Evensong inside of Christ’s Church in the chapel without producing a baptismal certificate; Virginia Woolf’s narrator listened outside.

So reader, please carefully consider what's at stake with the closing of the WRI - let us avoid creating the atmosphere like Oxbridge at Brigham Young University.

O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east and....Zac Efron?

My freshman year of high school we read Shakespeare's play The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. I remember that the edition we read printed contemporary colloquial translations on the other page, like "yo Juliet". Along with reading the play we also watched the famous Zeffirelli film , which launched Shakespeare back into pop culture as the movie spoke to the rebellious flower children of the late 1960's and early 1970's.

Talking to my friend Katie, she remembered not particularly liking the movie and an unattractive Romeo. But I'm here to tell you that we didn't have any taste in men our freshman year of high school. Today I watched Zeffirelli's adaptation again and my friend pointed out that Romeo looks like Zac Efron. You don't believe me? My evidence is below.

I mean these two must be related - the similarities border on creepy. The only major differences being Leonard Whiting's brown eyes and British accent. Well the British accent is not technically a physical feature, but it adds to their attractiveness.

I'm not proposing that Zac Efron portray Romeo in a new adaptation - that would be painful. I'm simply just stating the obvious physical similarities and both taking part in influential cultural phenomenons - one perhaps more high-brow than the other.

Tinkerbell

After several hyper beagles, my parents desperately wanted the "yellow dog" from Funny Farm that does not even move when its tail lights on fire. So on Valentines Day, when I was eight years old, the whole family picked up our first yellow lab puppy. After bringing her home I was afraid she would cry during the night, so I slept beside her in the tiled laundry room floor with pillows and blankets. I still remember how I pushed her away throughout the night - afraid I would roll over her. But she just kept snuggling with me.

Well we named that yellow lab Tinkerbell.

And whenever I would go trick-or-treating or running, everyone would say hello to Tinkerbell. I grew up on a very large hill and I didn’t even know half the people that lived there. How did everyone know my dog’s name? Later our family found out that every morning Tinkerbell paid her morning visits to everyone on the hill and after exchanging pleasantries she would receive treats. So she was a friendly dog and beloved by everyone. Even my good friend Katie, who hates all animals, loved Tinkerbell.

As you can tell by my use of the past tense, Tinkerbell is no longer with us. Today my mom and dad finally put her to sleep. It was time - she could not see or hear well and limped. So in memory of Tinkerbell, I’m going to share some of my favorite stories about her.

Imagine young Andrew in his rubber boots and bare-chested needing to go to the bathroom. So of course the obvious solution is to simply go outside. But as proceeds to relieve himself he begins to laugh hysterically because Tinkerbell, who loves catching waters from fountains, begins to drink his pee.

I loved how she welcomed me home on the front deck with a whimpering smile and her tail wagging at life threatening speeds. I’m not kidding...that tail was a weapon. Her tail would either take you out or take out my mother's flower pots.

Tinkerbell cherished family trips to our cabin so much that she would jump in the back of the car before we put down her blanket. She could sense hours before we started loading the car that we were going there.

Tinkerbell loved rocks. And sometimes when we ran out of sticks to throw for her into the lake, we threw rocks. So Tinkerbell, being a wonderful sport, would go and snap at the water where the rocks hit the water. In fact she loved rocks so much that she chewed on them when no tennis balls were to be had. (It’s not surprising that she had hardly any teeth intact these past few years.) But my favorite story involving rocks is when there were men building a rockery at the cabin. They were throwing large boulders out of the way and they had to keep Tinkerbell from trying to catch the boulders by distracting her with throwing smaller rocks. But it only takes on time...Tinkerbell tried to catch a boulder. It hit her. She was out cold for awhile.

Tinkerbell's been a member of the family for fourteen years. It's going to be difficult to come home this Christmas without her greeting me. I'll miss my dog Tinkerbell. And as my friend Emily said to me today, "our pet's better be with us in heaven, or I'm going to hell."

Losing My Dignity and Modesty

My two roommates are currently in a prank war. I suffered the following because of said "prank war".

Prank One

It’s two in the morning and I’m taking a shower when the lights go off. I blindly reach for my towel and wrap it around me as I yell out into the hallway “Cari, I think the power is off”. My roommate Cari –who just watched a horror film and subsequently seems more unnerved than normal - anxiously told me to go with her downstairs to our fuse box. Despite being my towel, I join my friend as I walk with my hands outstretched into the black. (It was a rather bold request for Cari to make considering that if there was a creepy man waiting in the dark he could easily rape). We finally find a flashlight and make our way down to the fuse box and turn off everything and turn it back on again. Nothing. We stand in the darkness. Eventually we worriedly trudge upstairs and I suggest that we look in corners and closets for a lurking sociopath. Cari’s not amused. Reaching our third floor I ask Cari to hold the flashlight as I dress - just as I’m completely in the nude all of the lights come on to reveal me in my naked glory. Here’s the rub: it’s not naked glory. I mean I’m not embarrassed that Cari saw me naked – I couldn't care less – I’m just embarrassed that she saw me in the bad naked; an unattractive naked. If she is going to see me naked I want her to literally see my best side. It’s like that Seinfeld episode when Jerry’s girlfriend does everything in the nude and he discovers the difference between good and bad naked. Bad naked equals Jerry’s girlfriend opening a pickle jar or Hillary getting dressed in the dark.

Prank Two

I come home Sunday afternoon and I’m going to the bathroom as I realize that something does not smell right. I look to the side of me and I see the shower door closed - it’s never closed. Something’s amiss. Becoming suspicious, I look underneath me and staring up at me is a dead fish the size of a serving platter. I cringe at the black-beady eyes that pierce and shatter all rational thought. I then open the shower door to reveal two dead fish swimming in bloody water. Did I scream? Of course not. Did I yell at my roommates responsible for this prank? Yes.

For someone who did not agree to this prank war, I receive the brunt of these crimes. And most of these crimes seem to target my dignity and modesty.

Blogging Anniversary

About a week and a half ago marks my blogging anniversary - I started blogging while on my study abroad in London a year ago. So to celebrate this brilliant year of blogging, I've put together my favorite blog posts. It's the best of the best of my blogging career.

Funniest

My most humorous blog is one of my first. It's an account of a rather awkward situation in which a choir boy at Christs Church flirtatiously winked at my friend while performing at Evensong.

Silliest

I'm an extremely silly person - despite the fact that I'm an elitist. In this blog I hint towards this as I talk about the men in my life, who ironically are really not in my life at all. I wish they could be though.

Political

While enrolled in a women's literature course I read the popular novel Reading Lolita in Tehran. And after living in the Middle East for four months, I subsequently had a more sensitive and skeptical reading of the novel. For this reason I wanted to reach as many people as I could augmenting the Nafisi's experience of Islam in Iran with my own wonderful relationships with the Jordanian and Palestinian people.

Musical

This blog discusses my brilliant experience of seeing Andrew Bird perform in Salt Lake. I'm in love with this man physically and musically. So I attempted to translate this love into a well written Ode to Andrew Bird.

Opinion Editorial

Forget about parking, abortion, or any other hot topic issues - if I were to submit an editorial to my campus newspaper this would be it. And by "this" I'm referring to the embarrassing toilet paper machines on campus. And for those I work with at the Writing Center, this is just a way to classify this post. This blog post would not meet the requirements of the opinion editorial for English 150 at BYU.

Sentimental

I'm an introverted person by nature, so I rarely talk about my feelings. It's even more rare for me to post my introspective musings on my blog. But in this case I decided to express my feelings about a stressful week of finals looming ahead and trying to cope with the idea of leaving one of my favorite places in the world: London.

Literary Review

I'm an elitist. So I adore satirically reviewing movies and novels that I find ridiculous. My favorite critique so far is the novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I think the title itself just begging for my elitist judgement.

Just Because

This blog post marks the best day of my life, so obviously it is one of my best blogs. If you disagree with my logic, which is rather faulty, please ignore it and just read it.

King Andrew Gamblin

Tonight, my little brother was selected to be Enumclaw High School's homecoming king. Five boys and five girls are chosen by the student body and then the school brings in a panel of judges. The Royalty have dinner with these judges and they hold a coronation where they read your biographies while you walk up to the stage. And while I could not fly home for my little brother, I made a contribution by writing his bio. Here it is in all of its splendid glory.

Amongst the frantic and worried doctors and nurses, Andrew Gamblin barely made it into the world on December 9th 1991. The miracle baby joined the Gamblin family as the youngest of five children. And while he proved to be the easiest baby out of his five siblings, he also was the homeliest with his bald head, big ears and wrinkled face. He also had the nasty habit of drooling uncontrollably; even for a child he possessed minimal control over his saliva. An-drool – as his family calls him – still shows signs of his condition today if you get him to laugh hard enough.
Andrew’s sweet disposition as a baby continued as he grew older. His mother refers to him as her most tender hearted child because Andrew shows empathetic kindness towards others around him. Because of his kindness he was doted on by his elder siblings, teachers and friends who thought, and still think, he is the “sweetest boy”.
Family members and friends do not only love Andrew for his sweetness, but for his unique conversation skills. Andrew acquired the nick name “Captain Random” for his off-topic comments and his ability to continue conversations even when no one is listening. One of our family’s favorite stories is how while vacationing in Hawaii, he interrupted the lunch conversation to say “Mom ask me what my favorite part of Ocean’s Eleven is.” The table curiously looked at him and his mother indulged him by asking and he quickly replied “I don’t know. Let me think about it”.
Besides his peculiar conversations, Andrew also possesses a unique athletic talent which he likes to refer to “stupid human tricks”. Andrew’s body is similar to a contortionist: he can wrap his body into awkward positions and has several double jointed body parts. He dubbed his moves names such as the “sling shot”, the “barrel roll” and the “Barbie”. Andrew’s keen sense of business and opportunity led him to perform these tricks at his brothers sporting events and charge viewers a dollar.
Andrew’s body also naturally developed more quickly than his friends. He came home one afternoon in sixth grade and told his mother with pride that he was the “only sixth grader with muscles”. Thus began Andrew’s life long love affair with his body. As a sixth grader he gloried in the fact that he had a six pack. His family still sees him looking in the mirror and flexing with satisfaction.
With such a muscular body, Andrew has found a knack for playing sports. He comes from a genetic gene pool of outstanding athletes and is the third generation of Enumclaw High school sports. In his high school career he has played football, basketball and run track. Some of his greatest friendships have been formed on summer leagues and Wolverine football. His teammates enjoy the talent he brings to his team as well as his leadership skills on and off the pitch and court.
Andrew has always been an example to his peers through his kindness towards everyone, work ethic and high standards. Andrew’s upbringing in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has taught him to abstain from things that could be harmful to him and those around him. Through his church he has also participated in numerous service projects – culminating into hundreds of hours of service. He is even an Eagle Scout – for his Eagle Scout Project he worked with the City of Enumclaw in furnishing apartments for transitional housing.

Sunday Activity: Chasing Cattle

This Sunday, Andrew and I were driving out of our driveway and we spotted a loose cow on our grass. Apparently, one of our three cows escaped. I cannot tell which one it was because their physical characteristics and names are interchangeable: Shadrac, Meshac & Abendago.

So I tiptoed into the field in my heels and dress and lifted my arms in imitation of cowboys I have observed in western movies. I might add that this actually does work; it's not just a Hollywood invention that appears impressive. Andrew became the other caroler as we coerced this frantic beast back to the proper side of the fence. How this devil got out, I’m not quite sure. But it felt brilliant to be late to church because of something so thrilling.

It also fulfilled an Anne of Green Gables moment...the one where Anne and Diana are in their dresses, attempting to chase Dolly out of Rachel Linn’s prize winning cabbages.

So there is hope for fulfilling another Anne of Green Gables moment: meeting Gilbert Blythe on the bridge at sunset and kissing him.

English 292: Sex

Despite the fact that I’m technically a senior, I still have to fulfill a basic course for my English major. Luckily, this semester I found room for this introductory class. However, it’s thrown me for a loop enrolling in a course with younger English majors; it’s a little different then the higher division classes I’ve become accustomed to. To illustrate this, here is a dialogue from this week’s discussion.

Preface: We are discussing the poem “The Eolian Harp,” written by Samuel Coleridge, to his finance. We read the following passage out loud:

“How by the desultory breeze caressed,
Like some coy maid half yielding to her lover,
It pours such sweet upbraiding, as must needs
Tempt to repeat the wrong! And now, its strings
Boldlier swept, the long sequacious notes
Over delicious surges sink and rise”

Professor: Now what is this talking about?

Silence

Girl: Love

My Inner Thoughts: Hmmm…not quite. But perhaps you have a warped overly sensual definition of love.

Boy: Making love.

My Inner Thoughts: Hmmm…closer. But you are still missing the mark - I don’t think this euphemism can properly be used for such graphic, forceful word choice. Try again.

Silence

I’m becoming impatient now.

Me: SEX!

It’s about pure, unadulterated sex!

These people better get used to talking about sex, because the English major is a secret coven of students who discuss race, sex, and violence on a regular basis. So my young English majors, practice saying sex at home so that when the opportunity arises, which will be soon, you can say without hesitation and conviction: sex.

Summer Reading Awards

Produced The Most Tears

The Crossing

In all honesty the novel that produced the most tears was Harry Potter and Half Blood Prince because tears were shed premortem and postmortem for Dumbledore. Overall, I estimate that I cried steady tears for about 60 pages.

However, the most profound and unexpected tears came during the final pages of The Crossing.

Laugh Out Loud Funny

Catch-22

Someone once expressed their distaste for this particular novel and I accepted this judgement without question. Shame on this person! I would have continued to miss out on this wonderful novel if it had not been for my co-workers at the Writing Center who convinced me to read it. I laughed out loud several times during this novel, but the laughter also comes with an ironic depth as you must come to grips with the the ridiculousness of a war dictated by an out of touch bureaucracy.

Memorable Sentence

As I Lay Dying

"My mother is a fish"

Memorable Word

East of Eden

Timshel תמשל

The Most Pleasurable "Guilty Pleasure"

Here Be Dragons

On my way home from the bookstore my friend inspected this newly purchased book and asked me if I was a fan of Dungeons and Dragons. You may laugh all you want, but I adore historical fiction novels that center around Britain.

Overall Favorites

My Name is Asher Lev and To The Lighthouse.

These novels don't have much in common. My Name is Asher Lev is a künstlerroman focusing on a young Orthodox Jewish boy and To The Lighthouse is just brilliant. It's a novel that I'm excited to grow old with. An odd thing to say, but it's the way I feel.